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Paris Hilton: Name that Medical Condition!

Paris Hilton: Name that Medical Condition!

Let’s play a game!

It was announced earlier this morning that Paris Hilton was released from prison because of a confidential medical condition.

This could be an epidemic for all we know and cause widespread pandemonium if we don’t find out what kind disease Paris possibly has.

For example, during one episode of The Office, Pam and Jim created (fictional) diseases when Michael puts Dwight in charge of choosing a new health care plan — spontaneous dental hydroplosion (in which the poor person’s teeth turn to liquid), hot dog fingers, and government-created killer nano robots.

COMMENT! Which medical condition do you think Paris has?

Just Jared on Facebook
Posted to: Paris Hilton

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  • kimmie

    I think she has TRFT (Too Rich For This Disease)

  • geniass

    She has the grave medical condition known as “I had someone slip something in my food so I can get out of jail.”

    It’s an epidemic.

  • Sharon

    Only “in” Paris, baby! LOL!!

  • a realist

    She doesn’t have a medical condition. Who do they think they are fooling…LOL…she just has connections, thats all.

  • Renee

    spoileditis. if she gets hungry enough, she will eat. this was all a part of the plan, which is why she turned herself in early. can you say orchestrated?

  • lovelace

    Maybe she actually broke her teeth on those Penis Bars that Sarah Silverman was talking about LOL

  • jen

    dumbfuchaphobia

  • LadyRahl

    Rich bitch-itis

  • paris hamilton

    Cockinhermouth Syndrome

  • Tabbs

    HERPES!

  • Idiot.

    This morning it was announced that Paris Hilton has

    Cantf******hacktherealworld syndrome.

    But realy, who gives a shit I guess. I mean, even if she served a year, big deal, once the sentence is over, she gets to go home to her f****** mansion and lala lifestyle. This has only done her GOOD, as she will be getting twice as much attention as she did before.

  • sarah

    obviously her medical condition was that she was eating nothing. hunger strikeitis in a half shell turtle power.

  • SuperMe

    Without her testosterone suppressant, her facial hair was growing back and therefore they couldn’t keep her in a women’s jail cell.

    Ooops!

  • Ryan

    Spoiledrichwhoreitis

  • kim

    crybitchitis,….For real though, I’m sure she’s eat up with all kinda std’s and they were afraid the way she’ll fuck anything, she’d pass that shit around.

  • :p

    OH REMEMBER WHEN SHE SAID

    “I WANT TO PROVE TO EVERYONE I CAN DO THIS AND I WANT TO PROVE TO EVERYONE IM REALY NOT THE PERSON THE MEDIA PERCEIVES ME AS” or whatever?

    UHUH. COULD. NOT. HACK. IT.

  • nyc

    richcuntitis

  • GimmeABreak

    Awwww, boo hoo hoo! Poor little rich bitch can’t handle jail! Hey dumbass, if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime! This girl is a joke: dumb as a doorknob, the morals of a toilet, completely fake….what a LOSER!

  • MJStyle

    SHAME!

  • boringla

    escapefromjailitis

  • Alphadork

    Vaginitis Socialitis – that’s Latin for the medical condition commonly described as “being a rich cunt.”

  • chad

    Syphillis Whoreitis

  • Burpie

    Jared, the real game here should be “How much did Paris’s parents pay to free her from jail?”

    Do these people mean to tell me that she stays healthy and well when she goes out partying constantly, drinking, having random sex, but she gets some type of medical condition when she stays in jail for 5 days???

  • [Famous Fug Face]

    lmao

  • justalark

    The poor thing is too “HOT” for prison! She is also DELUSIONAL! (She has been quoted as saying that she deserves to be rich and famous because “she is a good person” and “she works so hard.”)

  • Mondo Bongo

    Well i guess Justic stops at the Hilton’s
    door….Shame!

    Money talks, the Justic System listens, i
    want an investigation……..(:………:)

  • Mondo Bongo

    ~:)~

  • ♥yes♥

    panic attacks, depression and thoughts of suicide. all in one day!

    i guess she is a good actress after all

  • Sophie

    Supidity

  • Ann

    the dreaded disease known as “Hilton Heiressitis”. OH THE PAIN,THE PAIN LOL

  • Nando

    I think her medical condition is “bull5hititis.”

  • http://www.myspace.com/killerjaws Ceci

    She’s a total bitch, that’s her disease.

  • coalharbourqt

    Two words: Coke withdrawal!

  • PunkAss

    As the host of the MTV Movie Awards stated, she did end up breaking her teeth on the bars.

  • KB

    It is called PATHETIC HILTONITIS.

    Her entire family is the most disgusting of human beings. How do they show their faces, they have literally NO SHAME. I would rather die than be a product of that family.

  • Arabella

    Paris has a case of the POOR ME’s…..and once she gets home she will have a case of the LMAO at the state of California!

  • doy

    I think she has a higly contageous form of some hybrid sexually transmitted disease and they’re afraid she’s going to give it to the other inmates. Tentatively, we’ll call it: Hilton’s Disease, also known as sypharillaherpitis.

  • amanda

    Imo the poor girl has been stricken with a bad case of Athazagoraphobia (fear of being ignored)!

  • SF

    For real, probably cocaine addiction.

  • reba

    in all likelihood she’s detoxing

  • Natalie

    She has the syph.

    God… what a stupid coward she is. She drives drunk, then with a suspended license REPEATEDLY and god forbid she spend 23 days in the slammer when she was supposed to get double??

    she only made it THREE DAYS. what a joke.

  • sheila

    slutwhorec*ntitis

  • izzi

    Seeing that her psychiatrist had to see her, she must have had a mental breakdown. She was scared before she had to go in and she never had her freedom so restricted. To compound the situation in recent weeks she has come to realize how much her peers don’t like her. The MTV awards were just a clear understanding of this when people applauded her going to jail.

    She probably thought in the past that her antics made her seem tough, but seeing that she could not deal with a few days of jail only shows how weak she is. Hopefully she won’t be suicidal after this saga.

    When people say she gives people happiness through entertainment, they know they are wrong. The entrainment Paris gave was promiscuity, drug use, DUI, breaking the law and flaunting all these bad habits to the young in the society.

    Hope she has learned her lesson and try to do something positive with her life, like helping people and giving to society a meaningful use of her time.

  • Liz

    what the hell. We’ve never heard of being sick after partying so many nights and now that she’s been in isolation in Jail for less than a week, she supposedly gets sick? we ALL know that there is no medical condition and she somehow got herself out of it.

  • Jane Doe

    Sadly this is no surprise but it is so blatant that its insulting to say the least. Couldn’t the bitch at least have done what, a full week before this “illness” came on?

  • piper, with a low

    Irritable Bowel Syndrome…

    This bowel of a human being was irritable about having to be accountable for something.

    The medicine (freedom) had to be administered STAT!

  • Marg

    She has this problem

    “Help! I’m constipated and my bladder is full cuz I can’t seat on stainless steel toilet bowl . “

  • http://captdoloresaol.com captd

    How about withdrawal from cocaine.

  • Nadine

    she was recently diagnosed with syphilis!!! she paid her way out of it…they choked her with her hair extensions!!!

    this is the stupidest thing ever! lucky bitch! house arrest! my ass! omg she lives in a mansion thats not house arrest! this is so dumb! now im done k!

  • Caio a.k.a ‘brazilian hottie’

    Dude! I really like Paris Hilton, she makes me laugh a lot …

    But she’s definitely not sick, she has only one problem TMM (TOO MUCH MONEY).

    :D

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