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Ellen to McCain on Same Sex Marriage: "Our Love Is the Same"

Ellen to McCain on Same Sex Marriage:

On today’s Ellen DeGeneres Show, the lesbian talk show host talked with Republican presidential nominee Sen. John McCain about their views on same-sex marriage and her plans to marry her partner, actress Portia de Rossi, this summer.

“I’m obviously excited and to me this is only fair and only natural,” Ellen said.

McCain said “people should be able to enter into legal agreements, and I think that that is something that we should encourage, particularly in the case of insurance and other areas, decisions that have to be made. I just believe in the unique status of marriage between man and woman. And I know that we have a respectful disagreement on that issue.”

“Blacks and women did not have the right to vote,” Ellen responded. “I mean, women just got the right to vote in 1920. Blacks didn’t have the right to vote until 1870. And it just feels like there is this old way of thinking that we are not all the same. We are all the same people, all of us. You’re no different than I am. Our love is the same. To me — to me, what it feels like — just, you know, I will speak for myself — it feels — when someone says, ‘You can have a contract, and you’ll still have insurance, and you’ll get all that,’ it sounds to me like saying, ‘Well, you can sit there; you just can’t sit there.’ That’s what it sounds like to me. It feels like — it doesn’t feel inclusive…It feels — it feels isolated. It feels like we are not — you know, we aren’t owed the same things and the same wording.”

Responded McCain, “Well, I’ve heard you articulate that position in a very eloquent fashion. We just have a disagreement. And I, along with many, many others, wish you every happiness.”

“Thank you,” joked Ellen. “So you’ll walk me down the aisle? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Touché,” McCain laughed.

“Well, my hope is someday it won’t be called a contract; it will be called marriage,” Ellen ended.

You can watch the video of Ellen and McCain here.

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Photos: Kevin Winter/Stephen Lovekin/Getty
Posted to: Ellen DeGeneres, John McCain

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  • lala_girl

    she’s awesome! ;D

  • alicia


  • Lauren

    well put, ellen.

  • Melrose


  • Lou

    Well done ellen, completely agree.

  • You/Me

    Mmmmmmm, while I don’t really agree with McCain …..marriage is marriage no matter how you word it…..I’m glad to see that he stands his ground. Ellen razzed him on it and he stood firm letting her know that he also has the right to believe in what he chooses to believe in.


  • Leilani

    I love Ellen!

  • Merry

    I’m sorry but I totally agree with McCain. Ellen is awesome and hilarious. but marriage is meant to be between man and woman. personally I think gay marriage is wrong and sick. Marriage is marriage and it’s meant to go only one way!

  • mia2

    I love me some Ellen but have to say that I wholehearterdly stand firm in my belief that the sacred union of marriage be between a man and a woman. I reluctantly agree with civil unions because I do champion the safety and protection of gays and beleive that if they are loving and commited to each other, they should receive the protection and safety of healthcare and insurance together. However, my support ends there and falls way short of supporting gay marriage.

  • Realitycheck

    If you agree with mccain then you might as well go get yourself a couple of slaves to help you, or your woman, cook and clean and raise the children while not allowed to work or vote. Evolution of equality will not be denied, only delayed. Do we really need our sweet grandfather that doen’t understand society in today’s world to lead our country?

  • j

    I agree with Ellen! That is such a backwards way of thinking.

    He didn’t even have a strong response to her argument, just basically “I think this is the way it should be because that’s the way it’s always been”. Well, traditions shouldn’t always be held sacred.

  • Charlotte

    I so proud of Ellen for doing this interview. I just watched it & thought it was terrific. I like that she said “let’s talk about the elephant in the room” referring gay marriage. Bravo!! For those who are still uncomfortable with this issue check OUT our short produced to educate & defuse the controversy @

  • Kim

    Homosexuality is a moral sin. If we say this is ok, then is murder ok, adultery? Where do you draw the line?

    I like Ellen, I find her entertaining, one of the best comedians ever, but I don’t not agree with same sex marriage.

  • Dieter

    as Bette Midler once said “you know they like to move around a bit” JOHN MCCAOIN 4 President !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • korli

    #10 and #11 must be really ignorant.

    Mccain 08!!

  • bonnie

    Gays and Lesbians are sick people, no matter how popular or rich!
    I feel sorry for them that they can not be normal in life- females should have dreams of love and life with a man-a real man- and Men should have the desires for a woman-a real woman. I do not understand their brain thoughts. They have to go through life as a FAKE (they are not what you see) they are not normal human bodies- they are ABNORMALIf we allow marriage between gays and lesbians, we will find this world in a real bad situation- no where to turn- no where to go- nothing but LIES will fill this world. Please think !- America will change dramatically and it wont be good.

  • agreed with kim

    i love ellen too. shes funny as hell but i dont agree with this
    she shouldnt have said its natural..
    whales fucking seagulls isnt natural..sorry
    ive had friends that are gay and i dont treat like them shit
    but i dont agree with it
    do what u want in private, dont ask the world to accept what is wrong

  • Katie

    #10 – Realitycheck. So you’re saying that we can’t believe in what we believe in? My aunt is a lesbian, I don’t love her any less than I did before she told the family, but that doesn’t mean I think that she and her partner should be married. People are allowed their own views and McCain was not disrespectful toward Ellen and she wasn’t disrespectful for him for having his own opinion in the matter. You’re the one being disrespectful.

    Congratulations to Ellen and Portia, I’m glad to see they’re happy :) That’s all anyone should ask for, is happiness, no matter who you’re with.

  • stan

    Why ignorant? Just because they have a different point of view?

    Then, should I warn you that you’re supporting a miserable and retrograde grandpa in his way to the WhiteHouse?

    You know babe, I live in Spain, where same-sex MARRIAGE has been legalized, and everything seems to be working perfectly. You know what? I you don’t like what you see, then turn round your face. Make it simple.

  • steph
  • Jane

    People who agree with McCain seriously need a huge reality check. This is 2008. Get with the times. Homosexuality is not wrong or sick. People who think it is are. I feel sorry for all the narrow-minded people, you’re really missing out on life if you judge everyone, especially if you judge them by who they love. Ellen is in love with Portia. Now, if Ellen was in love with a man, then nobody would care, right? Well, why do people care that she’s in love with a woman. It’s so ridiculous that people care who others love. How’s it bothering you any? Everyone should be allowed to show their love, any way they want to. When a man and a woman are in love, they get married. Why can’t two men or two woman who feel the same, be married? Get your heads out of the Bible, which was written by a man, not “God”. And for God sakes, get the hell over yourself.

  • Kim

    From Jane #21:
    Get your heads out of the Bible, which was written by a man, not “God”. And for God sakes, get the hell over yourself.

    This is what is wrong with our society!

  • the real tita

    #19: you should be ashamed of yourself. You want respect for your own opinion but not for the other side. You have your opinion, other people have theirs. Why do you have to resort to namecalling to state your point? Does it make your argument sounder?

    And if it works in Spain, good for you but this is America. The people here at least have some respect for tradition and some conviction.

  • Ally

    Go Ellen. I can’t believe how narrow-minded so many people are in the LAND OF THE FREE. So glad I don’t live there.

  • stella

    wow 23 is that supposed to be ironic? i don’t know which America you live in but the one I do, “respect for tradition and some conviction” has been looooooooooong gone. if anything, America is more open minded compared to other nations. only the old crackers still can’t get our of their caves and thinks backyards.

  • Harvey

    McCain is correct, and finally, someone has the guts to say what is right. Ellen may be funny, but allowing everything just because someone wants it doesn’t make it right.

    McCain 1 – Ellen 0

  • D

    If there is a separation between Church and State, then we MUST look and treat everyone equally. As long as you are not negatively impacting society, whether you are short, fat, tall, thin, straight, gay,etc the government does not have any right to show prejudice toward an individual. We should all be treated the same.

    I understand some people have different views on this subject due to their religion, but whether someone practicing homosexuality will go to hell, is not for you to decide. It believe that is God’s decision, it is our responsibility not to judge, but to treat others with kindness and respect.

    Good job Ellen. I admire Ellen’s courage and her ability to bring up difficult topics, and still treat her guests with respect.

  • nicole

    I LOOOOVE McCain!!!!

  • Jane

    No, what’s wrong with society is you, sorry.

  • coco

    If someone doesn’t believe in gay marriage, that’s their right too. Don’t call them ignorant or narrow-minded. As you said it, this is 2008 so let everybody be free in what they believe in. Nobody should call another human being name because he/she doesn’t believe in gay marriage. How come you gays are so offended when you are called f…?

    Your union is legalized so go, run and get married since that’s what you’ve all been waiting for. And please stop saying you’re normal, cause you’re not. As far as I’m concerned, you can’t concieve a baby naturally like a REAL woman and a REAL man.

    And please stop comparing yourselves to black people.

  • gavriela

    McCain is right it’s NOT THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • annoxious

    I think when people say “sick”, it’s more of a personal attack, however, while I believe that same sex marriage is wrong, by statute, personal attacks should not be a part of standing up for what you believe.

  • Merry

    you know, if people like you didn’t believe in such morally wrong things our nation would be a little more respected today. you talk about how our nation has changed, so stop living in the past, well if someone doesn’t maintain some kind of boundary lines we are going to be living like crap. America used to have a little more common sense than this, haven’t you realized that God made us in order for man to marry woman, it kinda doesn’t work right when a woman marries another woman, hows that gonna work, if you get my drift. other people can do what ever they want it is a free country and we’re so blessed to live here, but sometimes when it comes to things like this we’re becoming too free. because this is just down right sinful and gross. but like i said it is a free country but ellen don’t put McCain on the spot like that, your just lucky he was soo respectful to you or else you would have looked like an idiot.

  • kayla

    That is completly wrong and so stupid ellen is a idiot and is just stupoid how can she even say that it is right? i mean this is the same as the same sex marrage in cali that got passed. it is wrong and people know it. that is why they feel the strong need to defend it so strongly. so duh a marrage is suppost to be betwn a man and a woman. so McCain is right and she is so wrong.

  • MM

    Jane @ 05/22/2008 at 12:25 pm

    People who agree with McCain seriously need a huge reality check. This is 2008.
    I am sure you are the person who will be promoting beastiality or incestual unions next.

  • Justin111

    Marriage is “sacred”???

    LOL!! I can’t believe anyone takes marriage seriously anymore because unless you have been living under a cage MOST marriages fail and end up in divorce. What is so “sacred” about that?

    You all are just worthless idiots or bored soccer who probably lives in worthless fly-over states and has nothing else to do with your lives than blog.

    To all you idiots who know nothing about the bible and think homosexuality is equal to murder: Did you know that it is a sin for women to wear pearls? Did you know it is a sin for us to eat pork? DID YOU KNOW THAT PRE-MARITAL SEX IS A BIG SIN (I’m sure you’ve all done it)?



  • bird

    McCain for President!!
    I like Ellen though.

  • Amber

    Who are you fools to “disagree” with homosexuality? What does it concern you??

    Why are you “agreeing” and “disagreeing” with people’s lives for fucks sake?

  • Pet


    McCain is so old and ugly!!!!

  • Charlie Hanburg (McCain Staff)

    Well, Let me start by saying for everyone who asks why we believe in One Man and one Woman Marriages. Ladies and gentlemen We agree with 3,000 years of recorded history but we disagree with the Supreme Judicial Court of California. The main reason is because we are worried about the family and the future of our civilization. A lot of arguments say well we won’t adopt kids but once we pass same sex marriage it will go farther and farther. I don’t know about you but I don’t want two Same sex Parents.

  • CKV

    Hats off to John McCain and Ellen for having the courage to be transparent and, yet, respectful of one another.

  • Gil

    We love to watch “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” and can’t imagine not being able to. That’s why we support our friends in Germany, Austria, Switzerland and neighbouring countries who want to be able to watch the show on a German TV channel and therefore signed the “TEDS in Deutschland” online petition.

  • Laura

    I am shocked that people here are comparing homosexuality to murder, bestiality and incest. That is so unbelievably ignorant and couldn’t be further from the truth! I’m amazed that people still hold such narrow minded views.

    I agree wholeheartedly with Ellen here.

  • Lauren

    #30 – are you saying those who cannot conceive are not “real” men or women??

    a lot of these comments really make me sad at how close minded so many people are. to call somebody “sick” for being gay . . . wow.

    as for the marriage is sacred argument, do those of you are against gay marriage for that reason also dispute “quickie” marriages that last only a few days? i mean britney spears & jason alexander wasn’t exactly a shining example of how sacred marriage is. or dennis rodman & carmen electra. or larry king’s many marriages. or j-lo. or any other countless number of celebs who change spouses almost as often as they change their underwear.

    in a world so full of hate and bigotry, i think we should celebrate love in all forms and be happy for those who have found it.

  • bonnie

    Judging others- ? not the same as using good judgement! We should use good judgement in life, teaching, accepting, decisions.
    It is important for our government to use good judement! Mankind has the right to use good judgement ! You would not put a short person on a job to reach high places- nor would you put a tall person to go into a small opening- etc etc! We would not ask a child to do an adult job!
    This again, is not judging!!!!!! Yes, God only has the job of judging the “soul”, but gave mankind the right “Earthly ” right to judge, make
    the right decisions for the safety and good of our people. My judgement would be to not give gays and lebians the right to get legally married!!!!! you are not equal as Men and Women, no matter what you say- even if you say I am narrow-minded- I will remain narrow-minded! God would be the JUDGE for that !

  • greenlee

    From Coco – “As far as I’m concerned, you can’t concieve a baby naturally like a REAL woman and a REAL man.”

    First, are you implying that gay men are not REAL men, and that lesbians are not REAL women? Talk about ignorant!
    Second, there are many REAL men and REAL women, who happen to be straight, that are infertile and cannot have children. What do you say to those straight couples who are infertile? They cannot get married or have the same rights as fertile straight couples?! Seriously?
    Third, there are plenty of gays and lesbians who have children of their own. Many of them (before they came out) were in relationships with the opposite sex and had kids with them. Gay doesn’t equal sterile, but I guess you didn’t know that.

    “And please stop comparing yourselves to black people.”

    The point is that ignorance is ignorance. Being gay is not a choice nor a sin, just like race. You just don’t want to accept the fact that homophobia is as bad as racism, because then you’ll have to accept that you’re a bigot too, just like a racist! Boo hoo.

  • ANon


    Have you even read the Bible? Please stop talking about something which you obviously know NOTHING about.

  • Katie

    #44 – Lauren, while I don’t agree with same sex marriage, I think if someone loves someone then that should be it. Obviously, there should be lines drawn (incest, for an example) but as long as someone is in love and happy, it shouldn’t matter.

    Some of these comments, from both sides of the spectrum, are so ridiculous. I’m open-minded, and I agree with McCain, but I will gladly listen to someone else’s opinion and take it into consideration. Learn to do the same, whether you’re for or against something. You don’t have to change your mind but be respectful.

  • Megan fox rocks

    I love McCain , and I agree with him need more men like him

    no same sex marriage

  • Lbm

    Let me guess….all of you who like mccain and are against gay marriage live in middle america and other small towns? You should try getting out more.