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David Letterman's Top Ten On Sarah Palin

David Letterman's Top Ten On Sarah Palin

David Letterman poked fun at Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin during Wendesday night’s episode of The Late Show With David Letterman. (Last week, he bashed presidential hopeful John McCain for skipping his show.)

Last night, the 61-year-old late night talk show host rattled off the “Top Ten Things Overheard at Sarah Palin‘s Debate Camp”. Of course, the audience reaction was huge. Check them out for yourself:

10 — “Let’s practice your bewildered silence”
9 — “Can you try saying ‘Yes’ instead of ‘You betcha’?”
8 –” Hey, I can see Mexico from here!”
7 — “Maybe we’ll get lucky and there won’t be any questions about Iraq, taxes, or health care”
6 — “We’re screwed!”
5 — “Can I just use that lipstick-pit bull thing again?”
4 — “We have to wrap it up for the day — McCain eats dinner at 4:30″
3 — “Can we get Congress to bail us out of this debate?”
2 — “John Edwards wants to know if you’d like some private tutoring in his van”
1 — “Any way we can just get Tina Fey to do it?”

To watch Letterman deliver this Top Ten list, visit CBS.com.

Just Jared on Facebook
Photos: Spencer Platt/Getty
Posted to: David Letterman, Sarah Palin

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  • James Mason Fan

    Oh Letterman! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

  • Kalilah

    LOL @ 10.
    This man is genius.

  • More liberal media

    Jared you amaze me every time. You’re so pathetic in your liberal spin. One this is a celeb blog site, Sarah Palin is not a celeb. Two you prove to show your hatred for Mrs. Palin everytime you post about her. Have I ever seen a David Lettermen top 10 before? Nope. So please stop being so one sided….either post either way…or don’t post about it at all.

  • bridget

    Now, he should do a top 10 of Biden..oh wait…hes a Democrat so he won’t …..the media is so incredibly biased.

  • dandeejam

    This is just a guess but I take it JUST JARED is voting for Obama??? This is the last time I will be visiting this site.

  • More liberal media

    Yep bridget, we will not see anything like that. Not to mention just scrolling down the page I see bruce is headlining a obama rally….so we got Jared posting David lettermans top ten and then postive spin on Obama…that’s just on the first page.

  • Bubbaness

    Newsflash, kiddies. You don’t like to like every post here but to be an uptight jackhole because you don’t agree with the blogger’s political leanings is hypocritical. So everybody else can have opinions but not someone who provides you entertainment?

    I don’t know Jared from a hole in the wall, but based on the posts, I’m going to guess gay man. Of course he’s voting for a Dem. Don’t be so closed minded.

  • clarkwood

    Whatever, it was hilarious!

  • dandeejam

    Hey “BUBBANESS” Ummm….who is being close minded? Those in the media that only post items that give THE DEMS a postive spin, or those of us that tire of hearing only ONE SIDE????

    Apparently there are a lot of things that you don’t know from a hole in the wall.

  • gina

    i’m surprised Letterman hadn’t hit her in a top ten list already.

    http://celebritytoday.today.com/

  • jughed

    *chuckles*

    I’m so sick of Sarah Palin!

  • cOGECO

    Oh Letterman!!! HILARIOUS…I wish I was American for just the day so I can VOTE in this election!!!!!!!!!!!! Incredible.

  • paul

    Right on……..
    There are ENDLESS jokes about Sarah Palin because she is uninformed, inexperienced, ignorant, intolerant, too conservative and has no business running for V.P. of this country.
    America! wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Debbie

    Oh Letterman – you are the greatest!!!

  • Pauline

    paul, your words are falling on deaf ears. Stop. Save yourself. That is what I do.

    Letterman is too funny. No, he isnotLiberal. he is a comic and will and has gone after any politician, himself or entertainer. That is wht comics do.

    The real joke is on us…BECAUSE NOV. 5 , PRESIDENT McCAIN and Vice President PALIN will run this country for the next three years. They will serve THE ALMIGHTY AND ALRIGTY REPUBLICANS. Country is second. Republicans Party heads are first andtheir agenda. It is all about power baby. PRESIDENT McCAIN will DIE in OFFICE due to old age and Vice PRESIDENT PALIN WILL BE THE PRESIDENT PALIN!!!!!
    JOKE IS ON US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • boogie

    Ha! Sarah Palin IS entertainment! She has proven that many times in many ways. Be sure to watch her in tonight’s debate- it should prove to be entertaining for sure! I betcha!

    lol

  • uhuhuh

    gOOD STUFF THAT WAS HILARIOUS!

  • boo

    i don’t get why people say this woman is attractive.

  • nicole

    To people with a brain he is not worth two cents.

  • suze

    Hollywood liberals, Lots of Money, No Brains.

  • blackfriday1978

    Sad thing is that despite this is a joke from late nite comedy show, I DO 100% honestly believe that Tina Fey would do a better job………… very scary for American

    Your Neighbor from Canada

  • http://http:/bel23 bel23

    Couric: Let me get your take, if I could Gov. Palin, on a number of social issues. Because that’s, they’ve gotten some attention, your position. If a 15-year-old is raped by her father,you believe it should be illegal for her to get an abortion. Why?

    Palin: I am pro-life. And I’m unapologetic about my position there on pro-life. And I understand good people on both sides of the abortion debate. In fact, good people in my own family have differing views on abortion and when it should be allowed. So … I respect people’s opinion on this.

    Now, I would counsel to choose life. I would like to see a culture of life in this country. But I would also like to see taking it one step further. Not just saying I am pro-life, and I want fewer and fewer abortions in this country. But I want, then, those women who find themselves in circumstances that are absolutely less than ideal, for them to be supported for adoptions to be made easier. For more support given to foster parents and adoptive families. That is my personal opinion on this.

    Couric: But, ideally, you think it should be illegal …

    Palin: If you …

    Couric: …for a girl who was raped or the victim of incest to get an abortion?

    Palin: I’m saying that, personally, I would counsel the person to choose life, despite horrific, horrific circumstances that this person would find themselves in. And, um, if you’re asking, though, kind of foundationally here, should anyone end up in jail for having an … abortion, absolutely not. That’s nothing I would ever support.

    Then, now, some may characterize my position as being extreme, because I am pro-life … and I want women empowered to know that, you know, we can help them. They can be strong enough, and they can have the resources provided them to give that child life.

    The extremism, to me, is those who would support partial-birth abortion. Those who would disallow parental consent when it comes to a minor child who would seek an abortion. I think parents should have a say in that. They should be a part of their child’s health care there. And those who, like Barack Obama, would support measures that would actually allow in a botched abortion, late-term abortion, that child being born alive, to allow it to not receive medical help to save that child’s life. That’s extremism to me. That is so far on the left side of the political spectrum and public sentiment in this country. That’s the extremism to me.

    Couric: So you want more support so women have more options, or girls have more options. But you also think it should be illegal, that there should be no punishment if a woman does break the law…

    Palin: I would like to see more women given more support so that those of us who say, “You know, a culture of life is what we believe.” Is best … for human kind, you know, to respect the sanctity of every human life. And to understand … that we live in a pretty messed up world sometimes.

    When you consider what’s going on in this world. The most promising and good ingredients in this world … is a child. The hope that a child brings. And just understanding that. Being near and dear to my heart. I want to do all that I can to reduce the number abortions.

    And to usher in that culture of life. And in my respect for the other side of this issue, I have not spoken with one woman who do, may disagree with me on, when abortions could or should be allowed, not one woman has disagreed, as we sit down and rationally talk about … the common goal we have, and that is to see fewer and fewer abortions. And to provide more and more women support in this world.

    Couric: Some people have credited the morning-after pill as for decreasing the number of abortions. How do you feel about the morning after pill?

    Palin: Well …I’m all for contraception. And I’m all for any preventative measures that are legal and safe and should be taken. But, Katie, again and we can go round and round about the abortion issue, but I am one to seek a culture of life. I am one to believe that life starts at the moment of conception. And I would like to see …

    Couric: And so you don’t believe in the morning-after pill.

    Palin: I would like to see fewer and fewer abortions in this world. And, again, I haven’t spoken with anyone who disagrees with my position on that.

    Couric: I’m sorry. I just want to ask you again. Do you not support or do you condone or condemn the morning after pill?

    Palin: Personally, and this is isn’t McCain-Palin policy …

    Couric: That’s OK. I’m just asking you.

    Palin: But, personally, I would not choose to participate in that kind of contraception. It …

    Couric: Do you think it should be illegal?

    Palin: I don’t think that it should necessarily be illegal. But we can go, again, round and round. And what the foundation I believe of this debate, of this discussion, even of your questions, is do you believe in the sanctity of life? Are you are you gonna side on the pro-life position or not when decisions are in front of you and you have to make them? Now, as a vice president, what positions would a vice-president have to take on the abortion issue? They’re not legislating. A vice president does not make law.

    Couric: But if you have a moral problem with abortion, it seems to me you would do everything in your power to make it illegal and overturn Roe v. Wade and …

  • realize

    Palin is dumb as a box of rocks.

  • realize

    # 18
    boo @ 10/02/2008 at 1:00 pm

    i don’t get why people say this woman is attractive.
    ********************************
    I don’t either, boo boo.

    She is just a woman with a fake tan, and make-up. Nothing special.

  • sue

    He sould do a biden top ten and say the same question 10 times. Who was the President during the depression and was tv even envented before the depression. Biden would fail on both of those questions because he is an incredible bonehead.

  • sue

    Sarah Palin is beautiful. I would love to see the people who are knocking her down. They must be some real beauties.

  • John

    Sarah will mop the floor with biden. No class, no brains, nobama.

  • ralph

    Biden is as dumb as a box of rocks. obama is an empty suit with NO experience.

  • jeff

    Obama’s tax hikes will KILL an already shaky economy. We can’t afford Obama/Biden.

  • Jamie

    letterman doesn’t write those himself, morons. that’s what us interns are for.

  • [☆I n F a m o u s☆]

    ‘;brilliant.

    ..david got funny writers.

    `palin’s as dumb as a bag of dirty-pennies.

  • jeff

    Barak is an elitist. He thinks he is better than everybody. Michelle hates America.

  • paul

    Jamie – I hope his interns write a Biden Top 10. Oh that will never happen.

  • joan

    Sarah has more experience than obama and biden combined. I think obama will have rev. wright as his Secretary of State, and william ayres as his Defense Secretary.

  • Muahahah

    Freaking hilarious. I can’t wait to watch her fail miserably at the debate tonight. I almost feel sorry for her, but then again, she “didn’t blink” . . . .

  • ha

    Look

  • BlueStatenj

    #34 -
    Are you a bit slow? Maybe someone should teach you how to define experience, and perhaps you should actually watch Sarah Palin speak (or make a brave attempt to). Her interviews with Katie Couric are extremely revealing of just how little this woman actually knows, and its honestly alarming just how many people are willing to defend her. Just because she seems relatable to a lot of people does not mean she would be a good VP, or God help us, president if something happened to McCain (he is older than time itself, after all). She is recently quoted as having said:

    “It’s time that normal Joe Six-pack American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency.”

    Wait, what? Because having that kind of individual represented in the position of president isn’t enough? Hasn’t this country realized yet, after eight years of Bush, the financial crisis and more problems than we can count that you shouldn’t vote for the guy that you’d rather have a beer with? Has history taught you people nothing? WAKE UP!!!!

  • GOOD VICTORIA

    TO ” BE 123 “……THANKS!!!…..TO LETTERMAN. ” THANKS “….LOL.LOL

  • http://http:/bel23 bel23

    Couric: Well, explain to me why that enhances your foreign-policy credentials.
    Palin:

    Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of. And there…

    Couric: Have you ever been involved in any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?
    Palin:

    We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.

  • darb

    The media??? Are you kidding? This is one person’s blog. And you nitwits think that posting Letterman’s top 10 list on a blog is evidence of media bias? Wow. Just… wow.

  • yoyo

    Don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out #5.

  • yoyo

    To #28

    Obama is an empty suit with NO experience huh? So what does that make Palin? An empty bikini with a rifle on the hip??

    Your idiocy is astounding and it’s people like you who are ruining this country dumbass.

  • Goodcarver

    BOO Sarah Palin!!!!! Obama/Biden 08

  • trud

    Hilarious list and yet here are people actually supporting this Palin twit!?!? Good god….how pathetic and how sad for them.

  • wwwuker

    To all you alleged Conservatives who don’t know what the word means. What ‘liberal’ media do you Ditto-heads keep referring to? The mysterious ones your Chickenhawk leader Rush Limbaugh tells you?

    Some of the dumbest statements have left the mouths of George W. Bush, John McCain and Sarah Palin in modern US and World history.
    If some wingnut who suggests a knowledge of Russia based on being able to seeing the Siberian treeline then that would mean all of you are just plain Dumb.

    Its no wonder that your candidate of choice comes from the profits of selling Budlight to a bunch of BudLites. Take a real good look at those Anheuser-Busch commercials, that’s how Budweiser is calling you dumb while laughing all the way to its French-speaking Belgium bank.

    There is no such thing as a ‘liberal’ media that would have the influence your fantasies attach to it. Big media are firmly conservative in the corporate boardroom and advertising offices that generate the real revenue.

  • Bubbaness

    dandeejam @ 10/02/2008 at 11:33 am

    My point was that Just Jared is not “the media”. It’s a gossip blog. I’m sure your conservative self would be more than entertained if there had been an anti-Obama Top 10 list posted because it serves your delicate sensibilities instead of offending them.

  • wwwuker

    To all the Conservatives who monitor blogs with Dittohead cliches waiting for opportunities to post.

    Alaskans voted Sarah Palin to be governor in the same way Minnesotans vote for Jesse Ventura, as a satirical protest against career politicians by essentially showing that anyone else could do a better job. There’s a lesson in this. Never concede 4 years of office to a Fool just to make a point against the government. There’s not a single Alaskan, including Sarah who thought that the stupid and proven incompetent Republican Party would come along and chose her to be a running-mate for VP! This is a joke gone bad for very serious reasons.

    Since 1980, you have beenm voting certified Dumbasses to represent the White House beginning with Reagan. Funny how you are always condemning Hollywood and the ‘Liberal’ press when its you who keep electing actors and models for high office.

    If its any consolation to you, Sarah will do fine against Biden only because ignorance makes an effective debating weapon against a pompous know it all. Sarah Palin’s ignorance will so enrage Biden that he will lose his temper and thereby lose the debate. that has to be the plan the Republican’s are using and Sarah knows how to play it well.

    Its not Biden who will lose or Obama if McCain wins on Nov. 4, but the USA and the World.

    How many disasters of your elected Bush League will it take for you to get a clue? 911? Katrina? Iraq? Wall St Meltdown? It just geeps getting worst and worst. All you need do is look into the mirror for the blame so-called Conservatives.

    And by the way, you are not real Conservatives. Most of you don’t know the definition of the word you are just the Parrots taught to repeat what you hear that makes you feel good about yourselves.
    You are just feeding on your delusions.

  • wwwuker

    On Obama having a Top Ten List.

    He’s a true Harvard grad with distinction. So there’s no dumb moments that could make a list compared to the Affirmative Action legacy candidates you prefer. Bush and McCain could not have gotten into Yale or Annapolis without their family legacies and would have flunked out. Of course you believe they just were rebels who loved to party and could pull it together at will instead of the truth that they are airheads.

    One good thing is that Blonds have been redeemd by the stupidity you present to the USA and World as your choice of candidates for the White House and Nuclear Arsenal.

  • wwwuker

    See Conservatives

    The truth about Hillary and Bill Clinton, Barack Obama and Joe Biden are that they are truly brilliant. it doesn’t matter about whether you agree with their policies, the point is that they truly represent the ‘best and brightest’ of the nation. While the people you prefer are the dumbest but born of privilege where they have slummed their way through life assured they will get important posts due to their family not any merit on their own.

    Most of you have absolutely nothing in common with Bush or McCain but are in fact working stiffs yourself who better toil or you will not get what you need to live. Could you afford to coast in school like McCain or Bush? Were you born in a family of privilege that guaranteed you a million-dollar job regardless your qualifications?

    The Clintons and now the Obama’s are rich because of how hard and smart they worked. In that way they are like most Americans who just took advantage of the opportunity to improve themselves.

    Bush and McCain are slackers. Since you love to identify with them so much I must conclude you are slackers too.

    Its no wonder that China, Japan and even Thaliand and Korea have in fact advanced beyond us only most of you are still clueless and deluded on American greatness. The USA is a reflection of you dummies calling yourselves ‘Conservatives.’ You got us into this mess based on being hypnotized by the Rush Limbaugh’s of the nation.

    Obama is not on the Top Ten List because he has not done ten dumb things to qualify for it.

  • wwwuker

    Realize

    Sarah Palin can only be compared to other Governors and VP running mates of the major parties. In the same way Nancy Pelosi can only be compared to other Speakers of the House.

    As Nancy Pelosi is the most gorgeous Speaker in the history of the USA so to is Sarah Palin one of the most attractive governors in the USA as well as VP candidate of one of the 2 major parties.

    If she becomes President due to a McCain victory and his inability to finish the term she will become the ‘Most Beautiful President’ in US history.

    Now if you compare her to women in general, well not so good.

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