Top Stories

Bruno Covers 'GQ' Magazine July 2009

Bruno Covers 'GQ' Magazine July 2009

Sacha Baron Cohen hilariously takes the July 2009 cover of GQ magazine as his naked alter ego, gay Austrian fashion journalist Bruno. In the issue, Bruno answers your burning sartorial questions. Here’s a few LOL celebrity-related ones:

Dear Brüno, how can I get some “Efron hair”? Or at least some “Pattinson hair”? Ich vouldn’t bother getting a Zac Efron hairstyle right now, cos ich am about to change mine and he’s certain to copy me again. In terms of grooming, ze only thing he hasn’t copied me with ist getting his ballensack pierced— vell, he hadn’t had it done ze last time ich saw him.

Dear Brüno, what do you sleep in? In reality, ich sleep in a seaweed body wrap
under a Zac Posen Navy-Cut Nightshirt. In mein dreams, ich sleep naked in a giant reed basket drifting slowly down ze Nile, cradled in ze arms of Daniel Radcliffe.

Dear Brüno, is it okay to “manscape” down there? It’s more zan okay; it is most essential. Be careful if you do it yourself, though—yesterday ich tried to self-wax mein arschenhaller
und glued meinself to ze bed. Manscaping ist important, but not as crucial as getting regular anal bleaching. If Brüno didn’t get his schmutziger arschenhaller bleached twice a month, his shtinker vould resemble Dizzy Gillespie during a trumpet solo. In Austria anal bleaching ist considered so important zat it’s paid for by ze state. In fact, you cannot run for office if you don’t have a vhite arschwitz. Indeed, ex-chancellor Kurt Waldheim vas elected on ze back of a prishtine anus. Zere are added benefits to getting ze bleaching—on my last session, mein beautician, Klaus, found ze long-lost head of a David Beckham action figure up zere.

For more Bruno outtakes and more hilarious Q&A, visit GQ.com!

Like Just Jared on Facebook
bruno gq magazine july 2009 01
bruno gq magazine july 2009 02
bruno gq magazine july 2009 03
bruno gq magazine july 2009 04
bruno gq magazine july 2009 05

JJ Links Around The Web

Getty
  • Kate Winslet is excited to support BFF Leonardo DiCaprio at the Oscars - US Weekly
  • Some strange details emerge surrounding the death of Kristin Cavallari's brother - TMZ
  • Kendall Jenner is suing a company for $10 million - Gossip Cop
  • Ashley Benson reveals how she got Taylor Swift's phone number - Just Jared Jr
  • Is Scott Disick partying again? - Radar
  • The Kardashians aren't happy about their American Crime Story portrayal - Huffington Post
  • Blue Ivy has a famous baby sitter - Lainey Gossip
  • Read the reviews for the new comedy How to Be Single - The Hollywood Reporter
A Member of Townsquare Entertainment News | Advertise here