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Taylor Swift Blows Taylor Lautner A Kiss During SNL Monologue

Taylor Swift Blows Taylor Lautner A Kiss During SNL Monologue

Taylor Swift sings and plays the guitar to “Monologue Song (La La La)” during her Saturday Night Live opening monologue.

The 19-year-old country superstar (in Badgley Mischka) pretty much killed it, addressing a lot of her relationship issues covered in the tabloids. Here are some sample lyrics:

– “I like writing songs about douchebags who cheat on me but I’m not gonna say that in my monologue.”

– “You might think I’d bring up Joe [Jonas], that guy who broke up with me on the phone, but I’m not gonna mention him in my monologue. Hey Joe, I’m doing real well. Tonight, I’m hosting SNL but I’m not gonna brag about that in my monologue. La la la. Ha ha ha. La la la.”

– “And if you’re wondering if I might be dating the werewolf from Twilight. Hey Taylor [Lautner]! (blows kiss, winks) But I’m not gonna comment on that in my monologue.”

– “You might be expecting me to say something bad about Kanye [West] and how he ran up on stage and ruined my VMA monologue. But there’s nothing more to say cuz everything’s okay. I’ve got security lining the stage. It’s my SNL monologue.”

Taylor finished off the song by saying, “We have a great show. Kanye West is NOT here, so stick around. We’ll be right back.”

Great job, T! The monologue video isn’t available yet but in the meantime, check out the SNL Digital Short. Taylor parodies the Twilight franchise in “Firelight.”


Taylor Swift Blows Taylor Lautner A Kiss During SNL Monologue
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71 Responses to “Taylor Swift Blows Taylor Lautner A Kiss During SNL Monologue”

  1. 1
    mailey Says:

    the song was hella funny. best parts were the parts bout Joe.

  2. 2
    Sarah Says:

    LMAO love this chick , i love how she can joke about the shiz going on in her life , the part about joe made me laugh so hard , and the part about taylor was too funny, i dont know if there dating or not but that hole thing right there just proved that she doesnt care wat the media think love u taylor swift !!!!

  3. 3
    Sarah Says:

    LMAO love this chick , i love how she can joke about the shiz going on in her life , the part about joe made me laugh so hard , and the part about taylor was too funny, i dont know if there dating or not but that hole thing right there just proved that she doesnt care wat the media think love u taylor swift !!!!

  4. 4
    Christy Says:

    Cmon Taylor, you can do better. You just stooped down on Joe and Kanye. You shouldn’t have done that.

    But I still like you anyway.

  5. 5
    dwayne russell Says:

    she was great tonight really loved it all! GO TAYLOR!

  6. 6
    selaly Says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOV_cWIVBcA this is the link of the song!.

    Great JOB Taylor! The song talks all!. I HEART HER.
    Her face expression was craking me up. OMG.

  7. 7
    alicia Says:

    She is doing a great job tonight! SNL is about poking fun at yourself especially when you host! I am so proud of her!

  8. 8
    asdfjkl; Says:

    SNL hasn’t been this good in a while. She did a great job! Much much better than Megan Fox.

  9. 9
    asha Says:

    Best open monologue ever. Taylor was so funny. I love this girl.

  10. 10
    ashley Says:

    the jonas brothers hosted SNL already…

  11. 11
    Tre Says:

    Way to Go Taylor xox!!!

  12. 12
    Douglas Says:

    @selaly: Thanks for the link!!!

  13. 13
    sarah Says:

    Haha! Taylor’s awesome!!!

  14. 14
    Ashley Says:

    Taylor was AWESOME on SNL :) :) :) :)

  15. 15
    christine Says:

    i love her !

  16. 16
    Ashley Says:

    Love you Taylor!!!

  17. 17
    ritta Says:

    Love you Swifty! *kiss* U the Best!

  18. 18
    dundies Says:

    HA that made me laugh

  19. 19
    anonymous Says:

    What do people see in this blondie? Yeah, she’s not out of tune but not really good.

  20. 20
    anonymous Says:

    If she was a he, would have been a douche bag talking about past relationships. What’s so lovable about that?

  21. 21
    anonymous Says:

    If she was a he, would have been a douche bag talking about past relationships. What’s so lovable about that? World has changed since we got these young ones singing private matters. They are like tabloids themselves.

  22. 22
    Sweetness Says:

    Taylor’s shout out to Taylor Lautner was the BEST! I love TEAM TayTay

  23. 23
    alyssa Says:

    taylor did an amazing job, best host ever! loved how she blew the other taylor a kiss and all the skits were hilarious!

  24. 24
    mailey Says:

    Her singing performances were very weird. In the first song, she was doing a lot of movement.. like.. seemed like she was trying too har dto make it livelier than the song was?? Dunno.

    Then the second song with the whole big princess gown.. She is a strange one singing.. Plus the singing is never even good.

    Funny skits and monologue. She’s still a crap singer.

  25. 25
    Katie_Walks Says:

    Loved the SNL episode. Probrably the best on so far. LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. Couldn’t help but laugh. Definitely well done by Taylor Swift. I’m not just saying this as a fan of Taylor Swift but as Saturday Night Live as well. Well done. :D

  26. 26
    Liv Says:

    The Twilight parody is awesome. Taylor copies Kristen Stewart’s mannerisms realy well.

  27. 27
    ava, Says:

    SNL was so unfunny, what a lame ass show.

  28. 28
    noname Says:

    she is really immature!

  29. 29
    Brian Says:

    Taylor was amazing tonight, I loved every second she was on screen. The haters can’t bring me down from this high.

  30. 30
    olga Says:

    taylor swift was amazing the best part the monologue

  31. 31
    lizzie Says:

    Is she a big deal in America? In Europe, we don’t know her!

    http://www.mayflower777.book.fr

  32. 32
    danny Says:

    pretty much one of the best episodes of snl i’ve seen in a very long time!! i loved it, and taylor! :)

  33. 33
    Lily Says:

    She look like a rat. She was not all that funny. Her career must have been going down real fast to start all this pr fake mess. It’s the pr agents that are the real stars. They way they stage stuff. These stars are all fake.

  34. 34
    Abigail Says:

    Haha. This lady is funny. Not really a fan of her but still, she’s sweet. :)

  35. 35
    hm Says:

    I think her shakira impersonation was pretty funny

  36. 36
    jj Says:

    I have so much respect for Taylor. This just escalated that respect even more…. Love how she can joke around the bad things and good ;) in her life. Amazing girl… love her!

  37. 37
    Liv Says:

    Wow, #33. Taylor Swift’s album was five times platinum. Her career isn’t going down. If you think her fame is just pr stunts you are definitely a hater.

  38. 38
    Marie Says:

    If a guy did all that he would have been called a douche bag. So it’s ok for her?

  39. 39
    Lily Says:

    Wow #37 if you think I am a hater then you must be one of her paid pr posters trying to keep up the hype.

  40. 40
    Jeff Says:

    Fantastic! Who knew this girl was this funny. It’s on Youtube btw

  41. 41
    Marieke Says:

    @Marie: when a guy dates many girls he’s considered ‘cool’, a girl is considered a ‘*****’. So maybe this is something where the girls are ‘cool’ and the guys are ‘douchebags’.

    I like her monlogue song but I don’t think she the best live singer out there, some parts where very icky.

  42. 42
    selaly Says:

    @#33:
    There is no WAY in hell that her career will be going down, Her album was five times platinum and I think it is defly OK for her to do that:
    1. I never liked Joe, ugly as hell and such a jerk, he loves attention, I like Nick and Kevin.
    2. Kanye did the bad thing to her (everybody knew that).
    3. She might be dating Taylor L,…

    So I don’t think there is something wrong with this,
    This is hilarious and Taylor is funny, that’s all that matters.

  43. 43
    remember da truth Says:

    Anonymous, the girl didn’t talk about her past relationships, she just mentioned what OTHER people have said and said she’s not going to talk about it.
    Can’t you follow simple dialogue?

  44. 44
    Tina Says:

    I think she did the werewold part for attention

  45. 45
    Tina Says:

    I think she did the werewolf part for attention

  46. 46
    sammy Says:

    Taylor’s got REAL acting chops. It’s almost like she was trying out for an actual movie role………maybe she wuz. The whole skit was hilarious and clever……..LOL

  47. 47
    Danny Says:

    Love it, and now I love Taylor Swift!

  48. 48
    coco Says:

    Blah blah blah
    I was on a TV show
    blah blah blah
    I was pretty funny
    blah blah blah
    I will write a song about it
    blah blah blah
    And make a lot of money

  49. 49
    Cristobal Says:

    I love it.

  50. 50
    babyboo Says:

    She did such a great job and the whole show was so funny! I agree SNL hasn’t been this good in a while (Ryan Renolds’ recent show was pretty darn funny though too!)

  51. 51
    Jessie Says:

    Love you Taylor and Taylor. A perfect match. You should move in together!

  52. 52
    annony Says:

    Taylor is no better than Kanye West and she should stop with the cheap shots on her break-up with Joe already.
    He was just not that into her.I hope Taylor L is the one bcause you know who she is going to write about next.
    Actually I hope they break up maybe she will leave Joe alone already.

  53. 53
    Mel Says:

    @ashley:

    no they didnt. they were musical guests once.

  54. 54
    JM Says:

    the girl needs to get over her ex! nothing shows immaturity and obsession more than constantly discussing an ex boyfriend.

  55. 55
    peetee Says:

    Okay, you gotta admit that monologue song a.k.a LA-LA-LA was really adorable, wouldn’t be any better if Taylor swift is not the one who sang that song!
    as for the anti-fans who say its booring… I say, “are you kidding me? You should open your eye balls a little bit and turn-on your sense of humor even once”

    All the juiciest info plus the firelight video: Twilight Spoof: http://bit.ly/taylor-swift-on-SNL-monologue-song-plus-firelight-video

    Never seen Swift as a vampire… LOL..peace out!

  56. 56
    lakers fan in boston Says:

    it was pretty funny
    i dont no why she always brings up the gaybro up
    he get it taylor, u dont like him, shut up already!!
    u just sound more desperate every time u mention him

  57. 57
    Jill Says:

    Ummm…I bet that Taylor did not write this, so she really isn’t the one bringing up Kanye and Joe. The writers probably told her it would be funny and she agreed.
    It’s not about her being desperate, it’s about her making fun of the way the media views her.
    And how could kanye not have been brought up? seriously, the girl said almost nothing about it and was probably saving it until now.

  58. 58
    Jessie Says:

    Very clever. I adored it. I’m not Tay crazy however I beliee she got a new fan today. Very cute.

  59. 59
    marie Says:

    she was great yesterday!

  60. 60
    Kelsey Kreme Says:

    She is so perfect. She should run for president!

  61. 61
    Jokergurl Says:

    That was great, Kanye had that coming, just what a you know what. She was quite funny, which is surprising because with the exception of Kristin Wiig SNL isn’t that funny any more.

  62. 62
    Chef de Vestes de Cuisine Says:

    Hey Joe, where you goin’ with that gun in your hand?

  63. 63
    lokomotor Says:

    @JM:

    She IS over him. Which is why she can laugh and poke fun at the whole relationship like she did in the monologue. Which is why she has 5X Platinum album sales, a sold-out tour and an album re-release.

  64. 64
    Stone Says:

    Like you said: Taylor Swift Blows . . .

  65. 65
    Jewels Jessica Says:

    The thing that is annoying is that she writes songs about boyfriends and ex-boyfriends. She must be a really good lover for some guys to put up with it. Its got to be terrible! – datingcutesingles.com

  66. 66
    serena Says:

    taylor did an awesome job in snl… she is so funny .. i really like the TRAAAPD and hollywood dish skits.. ha ha…

  67. 67
    geico Says:

    taylor you were the best
    ,but you were asking for it about kanye and joe
    if you hate them i do
    bye
    P.S. u r awesome!!!!!!

  68. 68
    geico Says:

    taylor you were the best
    ,but you were asking for it about kanye and joe
    if you hate them i do
    bye
    P.S. u r awesome!!!!!!

  69. 69
    mandy Says:

    taylor swift and taylor lautner are so cute together

  70. 70
    Veronica Says:

    Taylor Swift is the most beautiful girl in the world ….. Love Taylor Lautner to…:)
    Love Taylor Squared!!!

  71. 71
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