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Chelsea Handler Covers 'Playboy' December 2009

Chelsea Handler Covers 'Playboy' December 2009

Chelsea Handler shows off her bikini body on the cover of December 2009 cover of Playboy.

The 34-year-old Chelsea Lately host posed with sidekick Chuy inside the magazine and spoke about how she decks the halls during the holiday season.

On holiday cooking: “I love a big holiday meal with friends. And I’m a meat-and-potatoes kind of girl. I like baked hams, mashed potatoes, a big turkey stuffed with Vicodin and extra tryptophan – all the old standards.”

On office party hookups: “If you drink so much that it seems a good idea to hook up with one of your co-workers, try to do it somewhere a little less public, like a car. … If you’re going to make a mistake you’ll regret tomorrow, you may as well do it somewhere classy.”

On keeping holidays secular: “It’s time to take back Christmas for those of us who don’t want to hear about angels and shepherds and babies with glowing heads.

Besides, ever since Jesus started dating Madonna, I can’t take him so seriously anymore. A secular holiday party is a happy holiday party. … If you’re doing it right, Christmas should be a celebration of family and friends and having a good time, with just a sprinkle of porn thrown in.”

Playboy‘s December issue is available online at PlayboyDigital.com and on newsstands Friday (November 13).

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  • http://www.crazycritics.com SS

    She just posted this on her twitter “My Playboy cover hits the stands today…go get yourself a copy before my father buys them all”

    She’s hilarious- too bad Chelsea Lately is not on in Canada anymore :(

  • BOOOOOOO

    not funny…

  • http://www.strollific,com strollific.com

    well I think this is suppose to be funny

  • pixy

    Hmm, i guess she’s unaware of the real reason for Christmas…? “Take it back..” it was never yours to begin with. Nice air brushing by the way. Must have taken them hours to do.

  • wtf

    I thought Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah?

  • Lowest denominator

    She’s 34?
    Seriously?
    Pegged her for older. Guess it’s her “gruff” personality.
    She looks “nice” though.
    Awkward, but nice.

  • reality check

    Slept with the boss to get her job. Now has the nerve to judge others.

  • an oldie

    I saw her on Jay Leno the day he revealed her playboy cover. She wore a dress and her legs are like linebackers’ legs. That’s why she had to pose with boots on. Less work for the photoshop department.

  • Naima

    I can’t stand this hag, the fact that most people have not caught up to the fact that she’s a racist whore who slept her way into her job is beyond me. Not to mention the fact that she’s a raging alcoholic and that’s why she looks like she’s in her 50′s, there is no way that this hag is 34, racist whore !!!

  • Say it like it is

    She is funny.

    Yeah ,her photo is airbrushed..who has a photo that is not airbrushed.?
    No one.

  • :-)

    She is So funny, love her!!!!

  • http://www.athletedate.com/ Amanda Awesome

    I thought she was mormon. Is she still dating her boss, haha.

  • xio pio

    Wow, I’m 39 and thought that she was much older than me. Yikes! I would have said late 40′s at best.

  • sara

    She’s the only person who cares she’s on the cover just another “woman” who thinks this will make them every guys fantasy they jerk off then on the the next “classy” lady.

  • jdub

    ahh i fvckin love chelsea!!!! always has me laughing. and she’s so gorgeous in person. this may be my one and only playboy purchase

  • Kristin

    I thought she was like 44 years old…

  • Snoopy

    She’s nasty, and not good nasty. Ewww! Can’t stand her. I’ve tried to watch her show twice and can’t bear to get through the first 10 minutes. The little “round table” thing at the beginning is so weak, the members stretching way to hard to be witty (not).

  • ace11a

    she is living with a 55 year old dude..must be a money deal

    what other reason could there possibly be?

  • lexy

    LOL! In today’s economy who cares if she slept her way into a job. She wouldn’t be the 1st person to do it especially in HW and she won’t be the last. She’s funny and it’s great to see some fresh faces on this board. I’m sick of Rihanna, Rachel Bilson and the Twilight folks!

  • kid

    PHOTOSHOP in overdrive LOL

    she wishes she’d look half this good.
    She’s a bloated drunk.
    Hate her.

  • http://dlisted.com lakers fan in boston

    lmao it looks like they photoshopped her head on some other chicks body
    one of the worst playboy covers ive seen, and that’s not saying much
    i think she’s pretty in a way ive just never really liked her
    she’s funny tho, on her show that is, that interview is crap

  • Rhonda

    watched her show the other night, hearing Jim Carrey, the former 20 million dollar a movie bash capitalism was incredible. The springsteens and bon jovi’s of the world, get theirs and then want to ruin it for everyone else. We’ve got our hundred million now go stand in line for some food stamps. Why I hate Hollywood so much, its in the water there.

  • LuckyL

    She has a strange body shape, but besides that, I don’t have a problem with her.

  • just me

    I LOVE her! She is so funny and does not kiss her guests a$$es, She is down to earth and tells it like it is.

  • Jackie

    She’s a complete nobody and no-talent …. only an idiot would listen to her blather.

    Hideous looking too.

  • susi

    I can’t stand this no talent hag. All she does on her show is read the tabs like they are the bible. But only the reports on the celebs that would never go on her show..She has made many racist comment. NOT funny..

    just me.. She does kiss the ass of the guest. She is just a phony who*re who got her job buy sleeping with the boss.. I don’t think men find her sexy in the least.

    Playboy.. you have a loser on your hand…

  • http://www.relationshipswanted.com/ Erin Everyday

    I do think she is attractive. She’s slept with a lot of men too!

  • lexy

    She lands some pretty big names on her show so she must be doing something right! There are a lot of no talent hags – especially on JJ – funny people don’t call them on it though!

  • p3rp3tu4

    Love Chelsea & Chuy! Refreshing Entertainment Show.
    LOVE LOVE LOVE

  • hmmm

    yah, look at the difference in her arms btw the shots. that photoshopping is ridiculous. i’m going to have extra pumpkin pie for thanksgiving bc it obviously doesn’t matter these days–i’ll just paste my head onto another body for my christmas cards, hahah.

  • notafan

    DONT YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX-APPEAL TO BE IN PLAYBOY MAGAZINE? SHE IS A NO TALENTED WASHED OUT BLOND BITCH THAT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY WHO WOULD WASTE THEIR MONEY ON A MAG THAT SHE COVERS

  • notafan

    DONT YOU HAVE TO HAVE SEX-APPEAL TO BE IN PLAYBOY MAGAZINE? SHE IS A NO TALENTED WASHED OUT BLOND BITCH THAT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY WHO WOULD WASTE THEIR MONEY ON A MAG THAT SHE IS ON? SHE ONLY GOT HER SHOW BECAUSE SHE SLEPT WITH A E- PRODUCER….GO BUY SOME TALENT BITCH.

  • http://seriouslytoo.com happy girl

    i dislike her, think she is mean, says really things that are borderline racist and really not funny. and chuy is beng made fun of as just another small person. sheh has no class. don’t think she is funny.

  • Taylo

    If it’s not about Christ anymore, might as well stop calling it Christ-mas!

  • **JAMIE**

    SHE IS SO SO SO HOT!

    AND FUNNY!

    THE PERFECT PACKAGE

  • http://DopeKidz.com Davis

    Ahh, Playboy just quiet.

  • http://www.richsugardaddy.net/ Melissa Money

    I think she is one of the great feminist leaders of our time. She is unafraid to be brash and confident, yet also adventurous and aggressive.

  • http://justjared LSP

    Chelsea is halirous! yall are haters who dont like her! ahahaha! shes a good lookin lady, and yah every picture of anyone in hollywood is airbrushed. quit hatin! and if she drinks so what…. if i had a sweet ass job like hers and get hella bank to do it then why not drink and have a good time. haterssssss! chelsea is the s#*^!

  • Anna

    *gags*

  • The Campus Socialite

    She looks good for her age, lets face it shes no Megan Fox who is unbelievable if you havent seen these pictures of her you dont know what your missing

    http://www.precioustimeny.com/blog/?p=4627

  • SARAH

    shes weird & stupid

  • Taylor

    Haha I think it’s halarious how much people hate her. I personally think she’s very funny and just says what she’s thinking. People need to stop being so uptight and just enjoy her sense of humor. All the people who hate her are the stupid Jonas Brothers’ fans anyways so who cares what they say?

    Oh and she might not be the hottest woman in the world, and sure they airbrushed her like everyone else, but I think she looks 34, I don’t even understand how people think otherwise. Oh well people will be stupid.

  • Andrew

    You have to be smart to appreciate her comedy. She takes the piss out of all the Hollywood crap we all suck up on a daily basis (including this site) and yeah she slept with the boss to get a job, at least she’s upfront about it other then lying about it like so many Hollywood starlets!

  • Andrea

    Christmas is about the birth of Jesus and redemption of the world’s sins if you believe. Its about starting anew. Its about family and friends and love not those horrid things Chelsea said. Corporate America has developed its own view of Christmas, which is ok as long as you don’t take the true meaning out of Christmas.

    Chelsea has always been irreverent and baseless so her statements do not surprise me. I’m tired of people thinking that they are funny just because they make fun of Christianity. Yeah, making fun of someone’s religion is ok especially when they won’t put a fatwa on your head or have the power to take your career.

    Comedians nowadays are not funny, they are just disrespectful, irreverent, sarcastic, and cynical. They basically just state their own opinions while saying the F word.

  • http://www.bbwsinglesdate.com/ Vanessa Valentino

    I think Christmas is being erased by the ACLU who are really anti-christian but they don’t really go after any other religions, particularly those in the middle east.

  • oy

    I’m going to the gynecologist because it’s possible that my hymen grew back. If she’s 34, I now believe in miracles.

  • Eric Frost-Barnes
  • Jokergurl

    Chelsea is an equal opportunity offender.

  • dynamitewomn

    OH MY!
    Seems there are a lot of judgemental, overly critical , (jealous?)women who think they have a mind to speak with. When is the last time YOU were invited to be on the cover of anything but a police blotter or a family christmas card? For someone with linebackers legs, bloated, and in an alcohol stupor, somehow she manages to keep a television show alive and well and pique the interest of Playboy magazine…for whatever reason. Dont you wish you had her $? Or her ability to make money with YOUR talents?
    And as far as the men go that had nasty things to say…LOL bet ya wouldnt tell her she could not put her shoes under your bed! If for nothing else to lay claim to a celebrity booty call! bunch of phonies!
    None of you will ever find your self with the talent, energy or will that Ms. Handler possesses and uses with such advantage and promotion in your entire life! If you dont like her, dont watch her show, dont buy her playboy issue, but dont insult yourself by acting superior ..CUZ YOU AINT!

  • Bree

    I don’t like her. And I don’t think she is pretty.

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