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Melissa Etheridge Files For Divorce, Leaves Tammy Lynn Michaels Blindsided & Broke

Melissa Etheridge Files For Divorce, Leaves Tammy Lynn Michaels Blindsided & Broke

After nine years together, singer Melissa Etheridge filed for divorce from actress Tammy Lynn Michaels on Friday (July 2), citing irreconcilable differences.

Melissa, 49, is asking the court not to award financial support to Tammy, 35, but seeking joint custody of their 3-year-old twins, Miller and Johnnie. (Tammy gave up Hollywood to raise the kids in Indiana. Melissa has been on the road, performing her “Fearless Love” concert tour.)

Here’s what Tammy had to say about being blindsided by the divorce news via her blog:

i am wondering if it’s an art

gentle waves
no noise for awhile
or maybe gentle voices


even though we both promised

no filing until after tour
in the fall

her broken promises
told to me by

i’m raising the kids
doing what i can
second set of yours

could you stop blind sighting me?

unless it’s another art form you’re working on?

have a good concert.

Click inside to read Tammy‘s other VERY TELLING blog entry…

Tammy’s New Blog Entry ABOUT MELISSA

“no such thing as privacy, i guess? so okay.”

late 2001

we were standing on a porch, outside, under the stars. we were talking about life, and what was coming up in the future, and schedules, and dreams, and building. she had a tour coming up, but the kids had school, and i had some auditions coming… what to do, what to do, what to do….

and that’s when i sort of knew. those kids needed someone at home, someone stable, someone who wasn’t jetting off all the time, and scrambling in and out. i knew that was like, to be a kid, and have people on revolving doors. so i stepped in, truly thinking i was doing the right thing.

“you know what?” i said. “do you want me to take a year off? take care of the kids? i can be here when you’re gone, get them at school, bake for them, do the school stuff, and just catch them when you’re not here. want me to do that?”

her face lit up like i was giving her a present she wanted but could never name. “would you do that??? you would do that???”

“sure! i’ve always wanted to make a home anyway! i’ll make a home for you and me and the kids, and you go and do your thang with your guitar!”

we laughed and hugged, and she said it was perfect, and it was what she had always wanted anyways, but didn’t want to ask anybody to do it for her….. make her a home…. etc. and that night was perfect. sitting on the porch, under the stars, back when we lived on the house on Mandeville canyon, near the ocean.

i gave up my managers, agents, contacts, all that good stuff, because i stepped directly into potty training a small boy, and carrying around a small girl on my hip. both excellent souls. and i was a very huge part in raising them for many many years while She with the Guitar focused on her Guitar.

i was always the house wife after that. the only thing i hated about it was not bringing in money- i have made my own money since i started babysitting at 10, and having a newspaper route at 11. having no steady paycheck killed me for those years with her. and now it’s really killing me. the other week i had to borrow money from a friend. two weeks ago i had to scrape together $1.25 to pay for gas. i know she doesn’t want to give me money. trust. i’m borrowing cash left and right from people to get through this summer, and feed my kids, with a stomach full of ulcers, thank you. no stress here. :-)

how’s that spiritual tour coming along?

so now…. to open the lap top…. and read the headlines…. when i just spoke to the fame crawler yesterday…. she could have mentioned it….. and hmmm…. wants some custody of kids…. interesting…. but no $ support for me… interesting as well…. so so so interesting, there, melissa. practicing what we preach is always hard for americans, i think. (is that why you and rick warren got along so well? ) oh, the nights of promises…. “tammy, if i ever leave you, it’s because i’m crazy, and you have to come find me and get me and save me!!! we have to be together forever!” (remember that one, lucky?)

the corn out here in indiana is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING this time of year. i don’t know if it’s the humidity that brings it on or what…. but boy is it GOOOD!!!!! this farm girl is headed back to hollywood pretty shortly here, but i’m going to try to hang on to my honesty and my integrity and my gumption. i also am going to hold on to my balls, i think. if someone tries to make my life a cartoon, i’m going to step in.


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Credit: Andrew H. Walker; Photos: Getty
Posted to: Divorce, Melissa Etheridge, Split, Tammy Lynn Michaels

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  • Dance In The Dark


    Bothered …

  • ?

    Can’t comment – don’t know anything about the situation

  • popularculture

    That blog is way too long to read, I come to this site to relax by braincells! lol.

  • popularculture


  • Kelly

    Sad :(

  • me

    Melissa is no better than men/women who quit their jobs so they don’t have to pay child support. Most spouses have no respect for the ones to stay home and raise the children. Sad really.

  • Vanessa

    What is it with lesbians and bad poetry? As if Rosie O writing it weren’t bad enough, now this Tammy person is doing it.

  • Whatever…

    Starting to look like Melissa has a pattern of this behavior given this and past relationships. If her “wife” truly did give up her career, why does she think she shouldn’t have to provide support? Bad PR move Melissa – wake up and treat your family with the respect they’ve shown you.

  • oh dear

    Team Tammy.

  • lene

    So, Let me get this straight Melissa is out touring, while Tammy Lynn is at home taking care of their kids?!?! I think Tammy definetly should get financial support then.

  • pamela

    Team Tammy, as well- Melissa, you should be ashamed! You need to support Tammy and the kids even if you no longer love her

  • http://h Kaz


  • Slig

    Haha where iam now yeah yeah

  • Zara

    Melissa has always seemed difficult from what I’ve read about her. Hope they work it out for the sake of the kids.

  • jeez

    @popularculture: Seriously? It’s not even that long.

  • may

    can’t wait for the other side, there are alwas 2 sides

  • Alaia

    Well…I have nothing to say other than I remember her from the show Popular.

  • Shoshanna

    Capital letters are our best friend, woman.

  • b

    Melissa sounds like an absolute douchebag. You don’t go and create a family, leave them, and then expect not to financially contribute to the ruins you left behind.

  • Michele

    I think Melissa is disgusting. She wants custody, but has no genetic relationship to those two kids. Tammy was pregnant and had the kids. Their hers, and I am sure the courts will think so too. Usually the mother gets custody rights.

  • Michele

    I think Melissa is disgusting. She wants custody, but has no genetic relationship to those two kids. Tammy was pregnant and had the kids. Their hers, and I am sure the courts will think so too. Usually the mother gets custody rights.

  • mickey

    I don’t know about this. Melissa sounds like a good for nothing man, but Tammy sounds resentful about the kids so it’s kind of a mess. Good luck to them all.

  • [marie]

    WOW…just ..Wow..

  • CanadaGirl

    Perhaps the fact that she blogs about the intimacies of their life might have a little to do with the split.

  • sigh

    this is terrible. stop it with the same sex “divorces”

  • come again

    @sigh: WTF?

  • Who’s that Girl

    Melissa Etheridge sucks ass. I’m so sorry for her family.
    She needs to give Tammy money to keep caring for the kids, Melissa is acting like a pig. I am over her for good, no more buying Etheridge records.

  • Go Ask Alice

    I was a fan back in the day,and still liked Melissa Ehteridges’ music.
    Her personal life, being gay,whocares.

    HOWEVER, one thing is fo0r sure,she is tech a feamle, but she is a A+#1 di(k!!!!!! Moreso than ANY man.

    She is low.

    She was “married” before to Diamond Phillips exwife and she and her “wife” had twokids via David Crosby.

    Then,she takes up with Tammy Lynn and is acting cold,mean a true di(k …no spousal support….wanting joint cuusotdy…
    she isreally harming her cause ofgaymarriages.

    Thekids are tech Tammy lyns.

    HOWEVER,Tammy Lynn has great grounds ,still, to get a great Hollywood divorce lawyer and sue the di(k off of Melissa Ehterdige.

    Rosie O’Donnnell’s marriage went to divorce too.

    They are gay,so their kids have that to deal with now add diovrce,what kind of confusion mess is that.

    The kids need some good therapy.

  • Georgia

    Someone cheated…

  • CJ

    Team Tammy.

  • lassie

    blind sighting….lol.

  • Reta

    Tammy deserves spousal support. She took off from a career for her mate and raising children at her spouses request and now that spouse doesn’t want to pay her for it. They had a deal and Melissa broke the deal. Pay up Melissa. By the way, Tammy is a very good writer and I think she could make a living writing lyrics.

  • meman

    Hmm, Gays fighting for the right to Marriage, then they get divorced. ironic, No?

  • Shocked

    Wow. “there are two sides” – yes, true. So read the PUBLIC statements Melissa has made – “it was a friendly break up”, “we are doing it together”, “we are taking time to do this right” and then BAM, file for divorce without even TALKING to Tammy and then no financial support???? Remember when you had breast cancer and Tammy took care of you? Remember that Tammy takes care of ALL your kids, even from a previous relationship???

    I used to like Melissa, but her ACTIONS speak nothing but crap to me. I will NOT be buying your CDs, will not be defending your actions, and will pray that your children do not become like you – Selfish, Self-Centered, Hurtful…..the list goes on. Melissa Ethridge SUCKS.

  • Shocked

    @meman: Just like more than 50% of heterosexuals……….so whose fault is it really? Hmmmmmm

  • Acorn

    For shame Melissa E. You have children with this woman. As a woman and mother, I am for Tammy. You want equal rights for same sex unions? Practice what you preach.

  • meangela

    just about as ironic as a non-gay couple marrying and getting divorced. but thanks anyway braintrust.

  • Joyce

    It is very sad now i believe when Tammy said their breakup was’nt mutual. I love both of them but Melissa this is too hash think about the twins.You know Tammy is not working and taking care kids is more than full time job. You always on the road and she stay home and care of the kids, i felt horrible when i saw the news gay community please get involve.

  • twpumpkin

    Melissa should pay just like other people have to. She wanted a “Real Marriage” so she should have to pay for a real divorce. Tammy is entitled to half of Melissa’s income for the time they were together. So step up to the plate Melissa.

  • twpumpkin

    Tammy needs to call Gloria Allred

  • Lin

    Sigh. I was holding out hopes that a lesbian relationship would be somehow kinder and more loving than heterosexual marriage (since women would theoretically understand each other’s needs). But this is just as bad as what straight people do. :(

  • In The Know

    Etheridge is a very mediocre musician…….who on earth would pay to see her outside of the cult lesbian set.

    She is very narrow in talent ,everything sounds exactly the same, and frankly she is gross to look at.

  • Idlewild

    Shame on you Melissa. Tammy gave up her career to stay home and be your wife and take care of your kids. People break up, fair enough, but no financial support. Really? Is this Tammy’s reward for speaking her truth? Haven’t you been advocating that for years? Hypocrisy is hard to take in those you admire, but I can read this no other way. Tammy you keep your integrity – you have more support than you’ll know. The zonies are with you!

  • Lisa2

    I get so tired of gay celebrities fighting for equal rights, protesting and writing articles about how unfair they are treated and then when they are treated as equals, they changet their minds and say it wasn’t a “legal” union.

    Melissa is a horrible person who shows no remorse for the spliting of her relationship with Tammy. It’s as if she could care less for Tammy and the children they raised together well being. If this was a heterosexual relationship, none of this would be going on.

    I hope when this does go to court, Tammy takes 50%. Wouldn’t that be an example of equal rights! GO TAMMY!

  • vittoria crispin

    I believe in the sanctity of marriage that – a man is for a woman and vice-versa. I’m pretty sure, most adults around the world currently oppose to same sex marriage (SSM) but my personal view on the matter is that the trend now is towards acceptance. These couples deserve equality, financial security, dignity and respect. Denying a couple this rights who made lifetime commitment to support each other is unfair and unjust.

    As such, a major thing though to consider is that marriage in society is a major topic discussed in schools starting in kindergarten. They should be taught that SSM is equivalent to opposite sex marriage because majority of the children are reared in a home with parents of the opposite sex and that kids have needs that are met by parents of the opposite gender.

    TO MS. ETHINRIDGE: you fought for equality and financial support. Why the hell now denying financial support to your partner?

    I’m just saying…….

  • Jax

    I am no longer a Melissa Etheridge fan. I have been one since the 80′s and always thought she was a really cool person. I have followed Tammy’s blog since she started writing it and have always been blown away by her utter and complete devotion to Melissa. Her caring and love for her during her breast cancer diagnosis and recovery were nothing short of beautiful. It is dismaying to see Melissa throw Tammy to the side now that she says she needs to discover her “spiritual side”. I have news for Melissa: honey, if you can’t find that spiritual side with the one person who brought you back from the brink of death then you aint gonna find it anywhere on this planet. All the best to Tammy and her children. Melissa Etheridge has shown herself to be empty, void of anything resembling decency and should be boycotted by every music fan forever.

    Team Tammy for sure.

    Jax from Canada

    ps,,,vittoria crispin,,since you heteros have shown how well you fare at marriage why dont you show us how it’s really done?? idiot

  • Beth

    Melissa is a narcissistic jerk. She gets with these women and dumps them 9 years later. She talks them into having children and then refuses to support them? I am a gay woman but NEVER have been a Melissa fan. I can’t stand her music, too much wailing and her voice is annoying. All her songs sound the same. Wailing about crap and not only that, she is ugly. She pulled a Tom Cruise on this poor girl, dumping them before the 10 year and spousal support mark. I pity the next dumb girl who gets involved with her. No wonder the last woman she was with went back to men, Melissa gives lesbians a bad name.

    Hey Tammy, screw the bxtch, you’ll get with a better woman, keep her away from the kids. She did not have them and she did nothing for your relationship. She is a jerk, so big frigging deal she is a famous singer…..a sure fire recipe for a narcissist, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS!! Famous assholes = sucky partner.

    Like Ellen wouldn’t dump Portia if she gained 30 pounds and cut off her hair. With these egotistical narcissistic famous azzholes, it is all about the package and how you look. Tammy, you can do better and be happy. Take the ugly bxtch for everything she’s got and never look back.

  • Beth

    @In The Know:

    yeah I agree, she sucks and her songs are annoying

  • Lynh

    There are two sides to every story.

    No one but Tammy made her do what she did. And, she done it all by choice. So… therefore I think the ones who are bashing Melissa should realize.. people can’t help their feelings! YEAH, its crazy to leave after 9years.. and be through two divorces.. but you don’t know Melissa personally.. you didn’t grow up with her, and you don’t live in her head.