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Cynthia Nixon: Being Gay was a Choice for Me

Cynthia Nixon: Being Gay was a Choice for Me

Cynthia Nixon is speaking out about the controversy about her relationships with her college sweetheart, Danny Mozes, and her current partner, Christine Marinoni.

The 45-year-old actress, who currently stars in Wit on Broadway, was profiled in the New York Times.

“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me,” Cynthia said.

“A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not,” she added.

“I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate,” Cynthia concluded.

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65 Responses to “Cynthia Nixon: Being Gay was a Choice for Me”

Pages: [1] 2 3 » Show All

  1. 1
    Liz Says:

    She’s completely right.

  2. 2
    Annie Says:

    Sooooo… she’s essentially bisexual. I *kinda* get what she’s saying – all homosexual people shouldn’t automatically be lumped into the same box. For some it may be a conscious “choice” while others know they were born that way and one isn’t less valid than the other. If I understood what she’s trying to say that is.

  3. 3
    David Says:

    That means you’re bisexual, Cynthia.

  4. 4
    BEAN Says:

    I think she is bisexual, but to be honest there is no reason for anyone to criticise her. Sexuality is a personal thing. If you’re telling others to mind their own business then mind your own.

  5. 5
    June Says:

    She’s right. It is a choice, you choose to be with men or women. No one is born gay or straight. Thank you Cynthia

  6. 6
    Andrea Says:

    ok miranda

  7. 7
    Drew Says:

    This is a statement I’ve been eagerly anticipating. I’m reminded of Colin Powell’s endorsement of Obama back in 2008, when he didn’t simply refute that Obama was Muslim, but reminded everyone it wouldn’t matter if he was. It was a missing piece of the conversation.

    Nixon, an always articulate advocate for LGBT rights, making this point publicly is significant. The conversation has become one of semantics when it should be about common sense, decency, and equality. Homosexuality is real and every bit as worthy as heterosexuality, no matter the hows or whys.

  8. 8
    Mimi Says:

    @David: Yeah, I agree and I’m not hatin’. I don’t care who she sleeps with, but I think she’s bisexual. I’m straight and couldn’t just decide to eat ***** tomorrow. It’s not in my nature or genes or whatever you want to call it.

  9. 9
    Jennica Panettiere Says:

    Well on the one hand I want to scream at her and say, “JUST TELL PEOPLE YOURE A BISEXUAL WHO PREFERS WOMEN”.

    But on the other hand, many women leave their husbands to be with other women and genuinely fall in love with them even though their WHOLE LIVES they considered themselves STRAIGHT. I have no idea how you can do that, but it’s possible I assume and it’s simply a case of ‘if only you walked a mile in my shoes’ so judge not les ye be judged.

  10. 10
    A Says:

    Good god, some people annoy the hell out of me. No Cynthia is NOT bisexual. Stop being condescending and listen to what she is saying! For *her* it WAS a choice. For *you* it might not have been a choice.
    You are complaining about the “oppressor” but at the same time oppressing one of your own!
    We are all different, why can’t we embrace that instead of punishing others for not being like us.

  11. 11
    Jennica Panettiere Says:

    @Jennica Panettiere: Regarding my first comment, I say that because there are people who dont believe in bisexuality and she could be an advocate for that. But she considers herself gay, so meh.

  12. 12
    Mimi Says:

    @A: OK, then by your definiition she’s just a ****?

  13. 13
    Mimi Says:

    @A: OK, so by your definition she’s just a s l u t who will sleep with anyone?

  14. 14
    cal Says:

    is being a clueless moron who doesn’t understand how sexuality works also a choice for her, or does that come naturally? only a bisexual person would be able to “choose” one or the other.

  15. 15
    A Says:

    @Mimi: No you fcking idiot, re read what I wrote! She is exactly what she say she is!

  16. 16
    A Says:

    @cal: Don’t complain about heterosexuals not respecting homosexuals the way you treat Cynthia and others like her! You are completely dismissing what she said and putting on label (bisexual) in the most snarky condescending b*tchy way. How would you like it if someone said “No, you are not gay/straight/bisexual, you are THIS because I say so! “She is a grown fcking woman stop labeling her! For her it was a choice. Accept that and move the fck on.

  17. 17
    A Says:

    Why do you get to define her sexuality for her? Who are you to say she is bisexual or it not being a choice for her? Are all gay people the same? Accept that for some gays it’s a choice and for others it’s not.

  18. 18
    dsfds Says:

    I agree with her. To some people it IS a choice. I was with a guy for 7 years, and I loved him, the sex wasn’t bad either. I always knew I liked women too though, but never got to try it until we broke up. Since then I’ve been with only women because I just like it so much better, not because I don’t find men attractive. I don’t consider myself bisexual, because I couldn’t imagine ever being with a man again, because I don’t WANT to be. It’s like you live your life thinking something is good, then you try something much better and don’t want to go back, even though you don’t find the old thing entirely disgusting… it’s just “ok”.

  19. 19
    Mimi Says:

    @A: If she considers it a choice than it’s really disgusting, even though I’m totally for gay rights. To think that she would “choose” to sleep with someone that ugly is disturbing. Couldn’t she find a beautiful l e s b i a n?

  20. 20
    nonya Says:

    not trying to criticize her but she just ruined a lot of what gays have been trying to get through stubborn people’s minds that gay is not a choice :(
    why would she say this?!

  21. 21
    Lila Says:

    So, technically it is a choice for everyone. The way I see it, is that you can chose who you are going to be in a relationship with. No one is forcing you be in a relationship with someone of the same sex. You are actively making the choice to be in a homosexual relationship. Additionally, to say “you can’t choose who you fall in love with” is probably true, but you can chose how you act upon that love. A teacher could fall in love with his underage student, but it is his responsibility not to act on that because it would be inappropriate. Furthermore, as you have said, if a person can’t chose to be gay, by the same token they would not be able to chose to straight either. A man could say “I’m gay because I am only attracted to men,” and then he could end up meeting a woman that he is attracted to because HE CANNOT CHOSE WHO HE IS ATTRACTED TO. I honestly think that being gay is just a social construct. People who say “being gay is not a choice” well then being straight is not a choice either. So you can say you’re gay, but how do you know you just have not met a member of the opposite sex to whom you are attracted? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  22. 22
    Robert Says:


    She’s not essentially right. She’s making things worse. She is bisexual and what she is saying is that she is attracted to men and women and she is choosing to be with a woman.

  23. 23
    Mimi Says:

    @Lila: Wow, what great comments. I think people are born gay and personally I don’ t believe in bisexuality. I think bisexuals are either 1) really gay and don’t want to commit to that lifestyle or 2) promiscuous and will sleep with anybody. Either way I support gay rights. However, to say that one can choose to be attracted to the opposite sex of the same sex is ricidulous. I am straight and there is no choice about that in my mind.

  24. 24
    Carebear Says:

    I understand what she’s trying to say, but she could have worded it better. It would be like me saying I *choose* to be with men. Well, I choose it because I’m straight and not sexually attracted to women. I guess it could kind of be called a choice then?? However, I made this *choice* because I was born that way. Make any sense?

  25. 25
    Mac Says:

    for me she confuses “living gay” with “being gay”. you can’t choose if you ARE gay, but you can choose if you live according to your sexual preference or if you stay in the closet about it.

    coming out is a choice, but being gay is just like being male or female, black or white. who can chose to be white, except Michael Jackson anyway?!

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