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Joan Rivers' Funeral Wishes - See the Details She Planned Out

Joan Rivers' Funeral Wishes - See the Details She Planned Out

Joan Rivers planned out her own funeral in her 2013 book “I Hate Everyone… Starting With Me” and the details are all here.

“When I die, I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action…I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way,” Joan wrote in the book.

“I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing ‘Mr. Lonely.’ I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive,” she added. “I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé‘s.”

“I love funerals! To me a funeral is just a red carpet show for dead people,” Joan continued. “It’s a chance for mourners from all walks of life to accessorize basic black, and to make a fashion statement that is bold enough to draw attention away from the bereaved but subtle enough so that no one knows that it’s happening. And, it’s a great way to have quiet fun.”

WHAT DO YOU THINK of the details Joan Rivers planned for her funeral?

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21 Comments

# 1

I hope they honor her wishes ;) But I highly doubt that. RIP Joan

# 3

Lolz……Rip ,Joan!

# 4

I want to see Meryl crying in 5 different accents

# 5

Always funny. Her books are very funny, too.

# 6

Great news . Now you will surfer .

# 7

WHAT a crazy person. Jesus Christ!

# 8
Don Randolph @ 09/04/2014 at 6:21 pm

I have a feeling that Melissa will honor those wishes to the best of her abilities.

# 9

No other celebrity death has felt so personal. Joan was everywhere for so long. Still vibrant at 81. I’m still in shock. The funeral sounds very Joan:-)

How crazy is it that she mentioned Beyonce in her book and so happened to pass on her birthday as well…Joan I hope you have everyone cracking up in the big sky!

I think her plan is fabulous!
I hope her farewell is bigger and better than anything she dreamed
.Rip GrandLady xx

Benita Parrotta @ 09/04/2014 at 8:36 pm

Yes absolutely!!! Joan Rivers deserves it!! It’s her wishes!! I hope they commend them!! That would be awesome and one funeral we the world will never forget!! I love Joan’s idea!! 

I watched her when she first went on Johnny Carson show and she was so funny. When she started being mean I no longer liked her. Sometimes so was downright cruel. That said I think this was very funny.

This sounds like a plan. Everyone who is anyone will be there and Joan will look phenom.

Jeffrey Aronowitz @ 09/04/2014 at 10:41 pm

She wants people to have “quiet fun”. She wants “mourners from ALL walks of life to accessorize basic black, and to make a fashion statement that is bold enough to draw attention away from the bereaved but subtle enough so that no one knows that it’s happening.” My immediate thought is that I want to be there for that! I want to go and be my fabulous self in a subtle way and have some quiet fun. Those are her wishes/directions. I would go and contribute to her requests if I knew I wasn’t going to be turned away by the security.

She’s right. It will be a celebration of her life and career. It may be outrageous, but she always have a point. Something you wish to say or thought about it, but would never say it aloud for political correctness.

@Melissa:

I do too! RIP Joan~

Erika Ferrazzano @ 09/05/2014 at 12:07 pm

I know some of her wishes can’t be fulfilled but, I’m positive Melissa will do the best she can to make what Joan wanted happen. RIP Joan but I must say your funeral will be the best fashion forward and the most packed. Everyone wants to be there to show respect and condolence to you. I know I want to be there. I can not wait to see how beautiful you will look. Also I hope you are with you husband and other family members having a great laugh as we will mourn your passing.

To Melissa and Cooper my heart felt condolence to you both. Your mom and grandmother was a once in a lifetime woman and no one will ever replace her. She is truly a legend. I will miss her and will always remember her.

My favorite JR joke was “When I die, I want to go like my grandafather did, peacefully in his sleep…not like the other people in the car.” How sad and ironic! Of all the celebrities I can think of, I’ll miss her most. My sincerest condolences to Melissa, Cooper and all the other people she left behind. Joan Rangers forever!

I think her wishes are awesome! Unique as she was. I think what she was saying is that she wanted it to be a time of celebration of her life, and not a sad event. I admire that.

Susan RaCine @ 09/07/2014 at 8:33 pm

Joan: You set the gold standard for funerals. You’re the best always.

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