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Joan Rivers' Funeral Wishes - See the Details She Planned Out

Joan Rivers' Funeral Wishes - See the Details She Planned Out

Joan Rivers planned out her own funeral in her 2013 book “I Hate Everyone… Starting With Me” and the details are all here.

“When I die, I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action…I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way,” Joan wrote in the book.

“I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing ‘Mr. Lonely.’ I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive,” she added. “I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé‘s.”

“I love funerals! To me a funeral is just a red carpet show for dead people,” Joan continued. “It’s a chance for mourners from all walks of life to accessorize basic black, and to make a fashion statement that is bold enough to draw attention away from the bereaved but subtle enough so that no one knows that it’s happening. And, it’s a great way to have quiet fun.”

WHAT DO YOU THINK of the details Joan Rivers planned for her funeral?

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Posted to: Joan Rivers

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  • kiley

    I hope they honor her wishes ;) But I highly doubt that. RIP Joan

  • kel

    Amazing!

  • anustin

    Lolz……Rip ,Joan!

  • kary

    I want to see Meryl crying in 5 different accents

  • yep

    Always funny. Her books are very funny, too.

  • liliane

    Great news . Now you will surfer .

  • Lav

    WHAT a crazy person. Jesus Christ!

  • Don Randolph

    I have a feeling that Melissa will honor those wishes to the best of her abilities.

  • Shelby

    No other celebrity death has felt so personal. Joan was everywhere for so long. Still vibrant at 81. I’m still in shock. The funeral sounds very Joan:-)

  • rose

    How crazy is it that she mentioned Beyonce in her book and so happened to pass on her birthday as well…Joan I hope you have everyone cracking up in the big sky!

  • Melissa

    I think her plan is fabulous!
    I hope her farewell is bigger and better than anything she dreamed
    .Rip GrandLady xx

  • Benita Parrotta

    Yes absolutely!!! Joan Rivers deserves it!! It’s her wishes!! I hope they commend them!! That would be awesome and one funeral we the world will never forget!! I love Joan’s idea!! 

  • Rocky

    I watched her when she first went on Johnny Carson show and she was so funny. When she started being mean I no longer liked her. Sometimes so was downright cruel. That said I think this was very funny.

  • Sugar

    This sounds like a plan. Everyone who is anyone will be there and Joan will look phenom.

  • Jeffrey Aronowitz

    She wants people to have “quiet fun”. She wants “mourners from ALL walks of life to accessorize basic black, and to make a fashion statement that is bold enough to draw attention away from the bereaved but subtle enough so that no one knows that it’s happening.” My immediate thought is that I want to be there for that! I want to go and be my fabulous self in a subtle way and have some quiet fun. Those are her wishes/directions. I would go and contribute to her requests if I knew I wasn’t going to be turned away by the security.

  • Maria

    She’s right. It will be a celebration of her life and career. It may be outrageous, but she always have a point. Something you wish to say or thought about it, but would never say it aloud for political correctness.

  • Ivermom

    @Melissa:

    I do too! RIP Joan~

  • Erika Ferrazzano

    I know some of her wishes can’t be fulfilled but, I’m positive Melissa will do the best she can to make what Joan wanted happen. RIP Joan but I must say your funeral will be the best fashion forward and the most packed. Everyone wants to be there to show respect and condolence to you. I know I want to be there. I can not wait to see how beautiful you will look. Also I hope you are with you husband and other family members having a great laugh as we will mourn your passing.

    To Melissa and Cooper my heart felt condolence to you both. Your mom and grandmother was a once in a lifetime woman and no one will ever replace her. She is truly a legend. I will miss her and will always remember her.

  • JBOO

    My favorite JR joke was “When I die, I want to go like my grandafather did, peacefully in his sleep…not like the other people in the car.” How sad and ironic! Of all the celebrities I can think of, I’ll miss her most. My sincerest condolences to Melissa, Cooper and all the other people she left behind. Joan Rangers forever!

  • http://www.almostamother.com Sariah Shepherd

    I think her wishes are awesome! Unique as she was. I think what she was saying is that she wanted it to be a time of celebration of her life, and not a sad event. I admire that.

  • Susan RaCine

    Joan: You set the gold standard for funerals. You’re the best always.

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