Watch David Letterman's Final Opening Monologue Ever (Video)
David Letterman takes the stage for the last time ever for his opening monologue on The Late Show With David Letterman on Wednesday evening (May 20) in New York City.
The 68-year-old late-night host got a standing ovation as he entered the room.
After calming down the audience, he jumped right into the jokes.
“I’ll be honest with you…it’s beginning to look like I’m not going to get The Tonight Show,” Dave said. “I’ll tell you something else…I know people are well meaning, but I’m sick and tired of ‘What are you gonna do now that you’re retired?’ You want to know what I’m going to do now that I’m retired? By God, I hope to become the new face of Scientology.”
Another downside to retirement, Dave said, “When I screw up now, I have to go on somebody else’s show to apologize.”
Watch David Letterman‘s final opening monologue ever below!