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Lena Dunham's '20 Slimdown Diet Tips' List Is Eye-Opening

Lena Dunham's '20 Slimdown Diet Tips' List Is Eye-Opening

Lena Dunham was put on the cover of a magazine, showing her slim figure with the label “20 Slimdown Diet Tips.”

The 30-year-old Girls actress took to her Instagram to fire back at the publication with her own, real list of the 20 ways she actually “slimmed down.”

Some of the items on the list include, “a quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge,” “having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com,” “anxiety disorder,” and “I have no tips I give no tips I don’t want to be on this cover cuz it’s diametrically opposed to everything I’ve fought my whole career for and it’s not a compliment to me because it’s not an achievement thanx.”

Click inside to see the full list of Lena’s “slimdown diet tips”…

20 slimdown diet tips!
1. anxiety disorder *
2. resultant constant nausea
3. an election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny
4. constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future
5. abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus *
6. baseless but still harrowing threats to physical safety online and through smail mail
7. watching institutions you love from Planned Parenthood to PBS be threatened by cartoon mustache-twirling villains
8. finally realizing superheroes aren’t real (specifically the X-Factor, really thought they’d handle this)
9. marching your ass off
10. a quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge
11. sleeping 19 hours a day
12. realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut
13. worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don’t
14. realizing who ya real friends are
15. having to switch from Uber to Lyft (lots of calories burned trying to understand a new app, then even more trying to understand if the conflict was resolved)
16. bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency *
17. having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com
18. keeping your back arched against the wind
19. um, who the f*ck cares?
20. I have no tips I give no tips I don’t want to be on this cover cuz it’s diametrically opposed to everything I’ve fought my whole career for and it’s not a compliment to me because it’s not an achievement thanx
*star indicates a pre-existing condition

Just Jared on Facebook
Posted to: Lena Dunham

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  • Jen

    Ugh

  • Casey C

    oh for gods sake, shut up!

  • Phil the Donahue

    So if someone posted your photo on a magazine with the tag line, how not to be ugly like this dude, 20 ways, you wouldn’t want to defend yourself?

  • Phil the Donahue

    Maybe it’s the new adderall diet drug.

  • Mrs. Freeze

    It’s the cocaine diet.

  • Wendy

    It doesn’t say she was ugly or anything it says “lena, how she gets motivated”…how you got “she’s ugly” out of that idk lol

  • Kristinejstutzman


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  • Sprite

    Anxiety is – anything from keep calm, what me worry, mantras, tension sheet, don’t panic and ‘got confidence’. this is an 80′s handout I’d collected.
    .
    ATTITUDES AND PRIORITIES FOR REDUCING STRESS
    Every person has to a large degree the ability to control his or her actions consciously. You can set your mind on a particular approach to life. In fact, every day we make conscious and unconscious choices. By becoming aware of our choices, we can work to ensure that they serve to relax us and reduce our stresses, rather than work against us, as our choices often do.
    .
    The attitudes that follow is used as a guide line to improve your emotional lifestyle. Read each one slowly, digest it, then go on to the next one. Read them over each day.
    .
    A. There is no outside emotional stress; there is only my response to a situation, which I can learn to control.
    B. I will do one thing at a time.
    C. I will do the best I can about a situation, and then I won’t worry about it.
    D. I will express my feelings honestly to other people.
    E. I will be aware of my own needs, rather than those inspired by competition.
    F. I will think and live positively, trying to reach the best I can be.
    G. I will treat ALL others with the respect I wish for myself.
    H. Death, separation from loved ones and loss is normal, inevitable part of life which I shall accept.
    I. I can learn to grow as a person from “bad” experiences.
    J. I will not feel closed in, but will realise that there are always options.
    K. If I or my mate are dissatisfied with our sexual relationship I will take steps to improve it.
    L. By keeping in touch with my body and its need I will choose to be well and happy.
    M. I will live in the “now”, not in the “used to be” or the “will be”.
    N. I will try to value those who are important to me for WHAT THEY ARE not what they “ought to be”, “were” or “will be”.
    O. THIS is my life. Each day I will take the time to enjoy the people I meet, my food, the weather, my relaxation and my exercise.
    P. I will not keep reminding myself of past mistakes. I will forgive myself – again and again and again.
    .
    This is not to say that you should ever expect perfection of yourself. It is well to tell yourself each day: I won’t chastise myself if I act otherwise – this is “where I am” at the moment in my growth. It is important to allow yourself and others the freedom to be imperfect. cont..