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Gisele Bundchen Reveals Past Suicidal Thoughts in New Memoir

Gisele Bundchen Reveals Past Suicidal Thoughts in New Memoir

Gisele Bunchen is bravely opening up about dealing with anxiety throughout her successful modeling career, and thinking suicidal thoughts.

“I had a wonderful position in my career, I was very close to my family, and I always considered myself a positive person, so I was really beating myself up. Like, ‘Why should I be feeling this?’ I felt like I wasn’t allowed to feel bad,” the 38-year-old supermodel wrote in her new memoir, “Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life,” in this preview from People.

Gisele wrote about how in 2003, she had her first panic attack after taking a bumpy ride on an airplane.

“But I felt powerless. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, which is the worst feeling I’ve ever had,” Gisele continued. “I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I just jump off my roof, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in.’”

After being prescribed Xanax, Gisele explained what happened, “The thought of being dependent on something felt, in my mind, even worse, because I was like, ‘What if I lose that [pill]? Then what? Am I going to die?’ The only thing I knew was, I needed help.”

“I had been smoking cigarettes, drinking a bottle of wine and three mocha frappacinos every day, and I gave up everything in one day. I thought, if this stuff is in any way the cause of this pain in my life, it’s gotta go,” Gisele said of making lifestyle changes.

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Photos: Getty
Posted to: Gisele Bundchen