Lily Allen Opens Up About Finding Happiness After Battle With Mental Health

Lily Allen shows off her pink hair on the cover of Cosmopolitan UK‘s November issue, on sale October 3rd.

Here’s what the 33-year-old musician had to share with the mag:

On how fame made her more self-conscious of her body: “I was gearing up to do promo for the second album. That’s when I started not eating, when I started thinking about having to do photo shoots and red carpets. When I was feeling really bad, everything that I ate would come back up. If I wasn’t, it would be just lunch or dinner. Part of me getting ready for a show would be to vomit for 20 minutes. Then I’d clean up my face and start doing my hair and make-up. I just felt really fat and grotesque.”

On how therapy helped her: “I love my therapist more than anything. I’m terrified of the day he’s going to die. I’ve actually asked him, ‘Do you have an apprentice? If you get hit by a car, does someone else just sit there? And are they up-to-date on what’s going on with me?’”

On whether she’s happy now: “Look, happiness for me is your first E at Glastonbury – that’s the happy place. I don’t think I’ve ever had that base level of happiness. What I see as being happy is that fake level of happiness because that’s what I’ve had from the spike in endorphins or whatever. But I’m in a happy relationship, my kids are thriving and I’m creating great music. I couldn’t really ask for much more. So, yeah, I’m in a good place.”

For the full interview from Lily, visit cosmopolitan.com or purchase the November issue.