Billie Eilish Opens Up About Living With Tourette Syndrome

Billie Eilish strikes an interesting pose on the cover of The FADER‘s Spring Issue.

Here’s what the 17-year-old “wish you were gay” singer had to share with the mag:

PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of Billie Eilish

On what growing up does to your psyche: “Dude, as soon as you turn nine, it’s TRASH. Nine and up is garbage. For me, it was literally nine and then just bad, badbadbad, worse, horrible…Suddenly you hate things about yourself. Before I was nine I wasn’t thinking like, ugh, I’m too fat, are my eyebrows weird? Of course not: I was running around naked and barefoot and tripping and coming up with grass stains on my legs…”

On her Tourette syndrome: “The internet hasn’t really seen the bad ones, because I’m really good at suppressing them. The thing is, the longer you suppress them, the worse they get afterwards. I’m sure one day everyone will see the tic attacks that happen when I’m stressed and haven’t slept. But it could be a lot worse, and it’s not, and I’m grateful for that. And you know what, it’s f–king whatever.”

On honesty and really caring: “There’s people who say, I don’t even care. I’ve caught myself doing that: Whatever, I don’t give a f–k. Liar! Everybody gives a f–k. Dude, I give such a f–k.”

For more from Billie, visit TheFADER.com.