Ariana Grande Admits She Was 'So Drunk & So Sad' While Coping With Mac Miller's Death

Ariana Grande is on the cover of Vogue‘s August 2019 issue, out on newsstands on July 23.

Here’s what the 26-year-old “7 Rings” singer had to say…

On touring and her music: “Of course because I’m an extremist, I’m like, OK, I’ll go on tour! But it’s hard to sing songs that are about wounds that are so fresh. It’s fun, it’s pop music, and I’m not trying to make it sound like anything that it’s not, but these songs to me really do represent some heavy s–t.”

On grief over Mac Miller’s death: “It’s pretty all-consuming. By no means was what we had perfect, but, like, f–k. He was the best person ever, and he didn’t deserve the demons he had. I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming…less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away.”

On recording Thank U, Next and using music to cope: “But if I’m completely honest, I don’t remember those months of my life because I was (a) so drunk and (b) so sad. I don’t really remember how it started or how it finished, or how all of a sudden there were 10 songs on the board. I think that this is the first album and also the first year of my life where I’m realizing that I can no longer put off spending time with myself, just as me. I’ve been boo’d up my entire adult life. I’ve always had someone to say goodnight to. So Thank U, Next was this moment of self-realization. It was this scary moment of ‘Wow, you have to face all this stuff now. No more distractions. You have to heal all this s–t.’”

For more from Ariana, head to Vogue.com.