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Jimmy Kimmel Roasts Network TV During Disney Upfront: 'We're All Screwed'

Jimmy Kimmel Roasts Network TV During Disney Upfront: 'We're All Screwed'

Jimmy Kimmel isn’t holding back with his thoughts on the state of television.

The Jimmy Kimmel Live host massively roasted ABC and network TV in general at Disney’s Virtual Upfront on Tuesday (May 18), via Deadline.

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During the virtual presentation to advertisers, members of the press and producers, Jimmy repeatedly dug into the network with lots of jokes about declining viewership and desperate offerings.

“At this point, let’s call ABC what it really is, Disney-,” he said.

Find out what else he said…

“Isn’t there something to be said for dying with dignity? Somehow when everyone’s stuck in their houses with nothing to do but watch TV for the past 14 month and we still managed to lose ratings,” he went on to say.

He even went in with a vaccine joke, via THR: “We’re here to tell you what our plan to avoid extinction is…more people contracted blood clots from the Johnson & Johnson vaccine than are currently watching network TV.”

“Give us your money, we’re Disney, we’re going to get it one way or the other. Give us your money or we’ll kill Baby Yoda,” he hilariously added.

“I just want to say, I don’t know if he is ever really leaving, but if he does, and I hope he doesn’t, but if he does on behalf of all of us at Disney, I want to say thank you to Bob Iger for everything you’ve done for me, for us. Also, why the f–k was Mulan $30 dollars?” he went on to say amid speculation that the CEO would step down at the end of the year.

“Things are so desperate, we’ve had to resort to doing the right thing: inclusion. We want ABC, Disney, FX, Hulu, Freeform, ESPN and Nat Geo to be a safe space where anyone, no matter what their racial or ethnic background, their gender or sexual orientation…we want our platforms to be a place where everyone can bring their stories to die.”

“And what do you do when you want to bring more people of color under the tent? You sign a long-term deal with the NHL – ‘White People On Ice!’ After 17 years, the NHL is back on ABC and ESPN. At long last, America’s fourth-favorite sport returns to its fifth-favorite network,” he continued.

“We’re all screwed. My kids don’t even know what commercials are. I’m sorry to tell you this, but when we go on vacation and put on Cartoon Network or something, they’re like, ‘Why is this woman doing laundry in the middle of our show?’ We’re a dying breed…he good news is we’re dying together. In fact, that’s our theme for the next Upfront: Dying Together,” he concluded of network TV.

Just days before, he and a fellow star roasted the barely viewed Oscars ceremony.

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Photos: Getty
Posted to: Jimmy Kimmel

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