Here’s what the 45-year-old actress had to share with the mag:
On her breakup with Marc Anthony: “It was awful. But I had to make a commitment to myself to be alone: no flirting. No possibility of anything. No boys in any way, shape or form. I said, ‘I’m shutting it down.’ I’d never been alone. I grew up sleeping in a bed with my two sisters. When I became famous, I was surrounded by people and always had a boyfriend or a husband or some relationship, one after the other. At night I said to myself, ‘You’re not working. The kids are asleep. What do you like to do, Jen?’ I didn’t know. It was always, ‘What does he want to do?’ It was very eye-opening to me to spend time completely by myself. I was terrified of being alone: The idea that we are alone in this world, we were born alone, we die alone—it sent panic through my body. I said, ‘I have to face this fear,’ and I did.”
On her past relationships: “I would have loved for my marriage in my 20s [to chef Ojani Noa in 1997] to last till I died, but I see that maybe that was too early. I had more things to learn, and he had more things to learn. And [same with] the next person I married [choreographer Cris Judd in 2001]. And that’s who we are and then we’re great for somebody else. Until then it’s going to be a struggle.”
On love: “I still believe in the fairy tale. I believe in marriage. I believe that two people can commit to each other and share a life together.”
For more on Jennifer Lopez, visit People.com!
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