“I’ve been in lock up. Justin, you would not last a week. So pay attention,” the 73-year-old lifestyle personality said. “The first think you’ll need is a shank. I made mine from a comb and a pack of gum. I’ll show you how later. It’s so simple. I found Bubblicious works best and it’s so much fun to say. You see, when I did my stretch, all the hood rats on my cell block wanted to break off a piece of Martha Stewart’s ass. I decided some b—- needed to be got. I walked into the chow hall, picked out the biggest bull d*ke and I stuck her. From then on, prison was easier than making blueberry scones.”
“Settle down, bring some balance into your life. Find yourself the right gal. She’ll have to be very special. She’ll have to be someone on your level, powerful and famous and rich. Someone you can smoke a joint with or indulge in the occasional three way. I’m talking about a player in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom. So Justin, call me,” Martha concluded.
Watch some clips below…
Martha Stewart – Justin Bieber’s Roast Part 1
Click inside for another clip of Martha Stewart at the roast… More Here! »