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Martha Stewart Killed It at Justin Bieber's Roast, Jokes About Prison & Pot (Video)

Martha Stewart killed it during last night’s airing of the Justin Bieber roast on Comedy Central and no one can stop talking about her amazingly dry and dirty jokes.

“I’ve been in lock up. Justin, you would not last a week. So pay attention,” the 73-year-old lifestyle personality said. “The first think you’ll need is a shank. I made mine from a comb and a pack of gum. I’ll show you how later. It’s so simple. I found Bubblicious works best and it’s so much fun to say. You see, when I did my stretch, all the hood rats on my cell block wanted to break off a piece of Martha Stewart’s ass. I decided some b—- needed to be got. I walked into the chow hall, picked out the biggest bull d*ke and I stuck her. From then on, prison was easier than making blueberry scones.”

“Settle down, bring some balance into your life. Find yourself the right gal. She’ll have to be very special. She’ll have to be someone on your level, powerful and famous and rich. Someone you can smoke a joint with or indulge in the occasional three way. I’m talking about a player in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom. So Justin, call me,” Martha concluded.

Watch some clips below…


Martha Stewart – Justin Bieber’s Roast Part 1

Click inside for another clip of Martha Stewart at the roast… More Here! »

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Justin Bieber Says His Life Is 'Not Easy' In Front Of the Cameras

Justin Bieber rocks a white cap while visiting Hits 97.3 radio station on Monday (March 30) in Miami, Fla.

The 21-year-old entertainer was joined by Diplo and Skrillex.

PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of Justin Bieber

Justin recently opened up about the challenges that he faced with teenage superstardom.

“Just use your head, you’ll understand that my life is not easy. Not having privacy. Growing up in front of the cameras since I was 13, 14,” Justin told USA Today.

10+ pictures inside of Justin Bieber hitting a radio station with Diplo and SkrillexMore Here! »

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Justin Bieber's Comedy Central Roast Airs Later Tonight!

Justin Bieber sticks his tongue out as he hits up the LIV party on Sunday (March 29) in Miami, Fla.

The 21-year-old entertainer also took the stage during the fun night, which was presented by Moët and Hennessy.

Justin‘s Comedy Central roast is set to air tonight at 10pm EST! “This was a moment for me to show people where I am at in my life right now. Right now I’m in a moment of change. As I said, I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of, but we’re turning a new leaf here,” Justin reportedly says at the end of the roast. “I actually approached them years ago, but they said I didn’t have enough material.”

Before the show airs, watch some clips of Justin being roasted before the show airs tonight!

Be sure to watch the show tonight!

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Justin Bieber Surprises Ariana Grande's Concert Crowd! (Video)

Justin Bieber hits the stage for a surprise appearance during Ariana Grande‘s Honeymoon Tour concert on Saturday night (March 28) in Miami, Fla.

“Had fun with u Ariana, even tho I forgot all the words haha,” Justin captioned the photo on his Instagram account.

“Great night. Loved being back on stage. Miami I’m not done yet….” he added on Twitter.

Justin performed three songs with Ariana - his tracks “As Long As You Love Me” and “All That Matters,” as well as her song “Love Me Harder.”


Ariana & Justin – “Love Me Harder”

Click inside to watch more videos from the concert… More Here! »

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Justin Bieber Steps Out for A Boys Night with Cody Simpson!

Justin Bieber rocks a tan fedora while happily greeting fans outside of Bar 20 at the Grafton on Thursday (March 26) in West Hollywood.

The 21-year-old singer was joined by his good friend Cody Simpson as they then made their way to 1Oak nightclub to continue their boys night out together.

PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of Justin Bieber

“Studio!,” Cody, 18, wrote on his Twitter account that same evening. The duo are still planning to release a duets album later this year.

In case you missed it, listen to Justin and Cody‘s song “Home to Mama” here!

10+ pictures inside of Justin Bieber and Cody Simpson out and about… More Here! »

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Justin Bieber Hides His Face With a Pillow Again

Justin Bieber dons a white tee while stepping out for a hike with his close pal Lil Za on Sunday (March 22) in Beverly Hills, Calif.

The next day, the 21-year-old entertainer was seen covering his face with a pillow after visiting a doctor’s office.

PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of Justin Bieber

“Next week is #BieberRoast and my bro @Ludacris has a new album coming. Preorder #Ludaversal now. Got u bro. Even though u roasted me. Lol,” Justin recently tweeted. We can’t wait to watch the roast!

30+ pictures inside of Justin Bieber enjoying a hike with his entourage… More Here! »

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Leonardo DiCaprio Parties the Night Away with Justin Bieber

Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Bieber were spotted partying it up together at 1Oak nightclub in West Hollywood over the weekend!

After their time at the club, the 40-year-old actor was seen leaving with a group of beautiful women, while the 21-year-old singer left with his own crew of friends.

PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of Leonardo DiCaprio

Though Justin has been spending time partying with his friends, he will probably be spending more time on stage soon!

“I miss performing. Time to get back to that :)” Justin recently tweeted.

25+ pictures inside of Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Bieber partying together… More Here! »

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