'Vanderpump Rules' Star Katie Maloney Reveals How She Feels About Tom Schwartz Dating Again After Their Split

Katie Maloney is opening up about her split from Tom Schwartz.

The 35-year-old Vanderpump Rules star discussed their divorce during an episode of the We Met at Acme podcast on Sunday (April 10).

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“We met in May or June of 2010 and we didn’t get into a relationship right away. We kind of kept it [casual] for a few months,” she began. “And then, yeah, I asked him to be my boyfriend. … Because I knew, I think, we both caught feelings. We both didn’t want a relationship, but we caught feelings. So I felt like we had to, you know, establish some boundaries so the other one didn’t get hurt.”

Katie continued, “And then we eventually moved in together. And then I gave him an ultimatum — the famous ultimatum — because I felt like he was always very commitment-phobic in ways. And I was, you know, wanting to take natural progressions, [getting married] was always something I wanted. And he was being naughty. And so I was like, you know, it’s time for you to make the real commitment. … And, of course, now I’m the one that’s asked for a divorce. So it’s funny how life works.”

She went on to say that as she and Tom were still living together as they continued to navigate their breakup.

“We own a home together. We’re going to sell our house, but we have some repairs that we’re doing. … We have to get it ready to sell,” she explained, noting that they were staying in separate rooms. “We’re not sleeping in bed together. It’s working, it’s peaceful.”

“I really thought that we were gonna make it work. I felt that we had overcome a lot together, I felt that we had grown together,” she continued. “And I thought that we would continue growing together, I was very optimistic. I thought, you know, patience is a virtue and that I had made mistakes, and he had made mistakes. I felt like I couldn’t condemn him for a lot of things because I was guilty, but maybe that was my own insecurity and me just not seeing things clearly.”

When asked whether she thought Tom had any “red flags” when they were dating, Katie said that she felt he was somewhat averse to commitment.

“I understand that when someone is younger and [when] they’re still figuring themselves out, they’re still figuring life out. But I think when somebody is 30, I don’t think it’s too much — and especially when you’ve been together for a long time,” she said, adding that Tom had “people pleasing” tendencies. “That also came through with him always kind of having other people’s backs and not having my own back. He wasn’t necessarily on my team in a lot of ways and it’s fine. I didn’t need to be right about everything, but I didn’t need to be alone in everything. He kind of always tended to take his buddy’s side or anyone else’s side. That was a common thread throughout the relationship that was frustrating to me, but I kind of was just like, ‘Well, is this who he is? I don’t really want to change necessarily the fiber of his being.’ But I also ultimately realized, I don’t know if I necessarily want to do this the rest of my life.”

The reality star also said that she started having doubts about their relationship “the end of last summer/fall,” sharing, “It started to creep in — these thoughts, you know, but I think maybe, subconsciously, I’ve been feeling them longer, but I didn’t know what they meant or wasn’t feeling them correctly if that makes sense. They were there, but I was sort of just turning my cheek to it. I was not wanting to see it for what it was.”

Katie also addressed whether Tom could’ve done anything to save their relationship.

“It wouldn’t have been one thing. I had been expressing my feelings and where I felt that I was, again, not getting my needs met, and where I thought I was being hurt by some of the behavior and I don’t think he understood or resonated or agreed with [it]. It would just require a shift and all of that. … I understand you can’t really, like, change a person,” she said.

She later recalled telling Tom that she wanted a divorce, explaining that she felt like she was “dying inside” and had been losing sleep over the decision.

“It was one day, I kind of had just told him, like, this is how I’ve been feeling and not feeling very happy. And it was sort of, like, ‘Let’s try to maybe work on it a little bit.’ But I kind of knew that that wasn’t the full feeling of it all. And then, you know, he just didn’t really do anything, like, he left town again to go do a thing with [Tom] Sandoval. And then he left to go see his dad, which is not his fault. … He didn’t really even know what that looked like — working on things. I think in his mind [it] was just like, ‘OK, well, I think this will be a passing thing for her. She just needed to get something out.’ I think he thought that I was just going to get over it or something. And then it was a couple of weeks later, I had decided that I wanted to get a divorce.”

She revealed that while Tom didn’t “fight” her on it, he was “really sad.”

“It was very emotional, you know, for a while, for a couple of weeks,” she said. “It was the death of a relationship. It was incredibly sad, but you know, there wasn’t fighting, I think he recognized that I was serious, and I meant it and that there wasn’t anything in the moment that he could do — even though he didn’t necessarily agree with it or want it — but he wasn’t going to fight me on it.”

As for whether she’d consider dating again soon, Katie said: “You would think after being with someone for 12 years and all this that you would be not ready for that, but I feel like I am… It’s a different world out there. So I’m like, ‘What do you even do?’ I feel like I’m totally out of my element. … When I met Tom, dating apps weren’t even around then. I used to just meet people the old-fashioned way.”

When it comes to Tom dating, Katie said it would be “weird” but she didn’t think it would make her feel hurt or betrayed.

Last month, Tom revealed that he blamed himself for their split.