Jennifer Grey Recalls the Moment Her Father Joel Grey Was Outed as Gay to Her

Jennifer Grey is looking back at a pivotal moment in her life.

In a new interview with People to promote her memoir Out of the Corner, the actress recalled the moment she learned about her father Joel Grey‘s sexuality.

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Joel came out in 2015 at the age of 82. He split with Jennifer‘s mother, Jo Wilder, in 1982 and Jennifer said she’s still very close with both of them.

“I speak to them every day,” she explained. “But I believe in writing the book, I had to ask myself, is it possible I didn’t know?”

The Dirty Dancing star was dating Matthew Broderick in the late 80s and during a visit to his home while he wasn’t there, Matthew‘s mother told her: “You know your dad’s a fag.”

“Perhaps she was offended by my lack of knowing,” Jennifer said. “I don’t know what she was thinking. She was, um, she was a tricky personality. I don’t know how else to put it. Like, she was a truth teller, truth bombs. A Cassandra. She was, like, come what may.”

She added, “She just said whatever she believed was the truth — and perhaps she was doing me a solid. Maybe she thought: Is anybody gonna say what’s happening in the world?”

“It’s really only for him,” Jennifer told the outlet of her father’s sexuality. “I’m so exhausted by the reductiveness with which people want to out famous people and decide what people are. Like, who cares! People should feel good. And, besides, I think that sexuality is so much more interesting than gay or straight, bi. And, you know what I think about it all the time: he said my mom was the love of his life and I believe she was.”

While she’s accepted her father’s sexuality, 30 years ago the conversation felt very different.

“At the time, it was, like, warfare. It was an act of aggression. Perhaps she was offended by the lack of transparency. I don’t know what anybody else is thinking. All I know, all I knew at the time was that it felt like it was a sniper attack. The idea was that I was a fool and that everyone knew but me,” she said.

She continued, “The reason I put that in the book, was because it was one of those days that changed me. In the sense that how could I not know everything there was to know about my dad? I was the closest to him of anyone in the world. And he would never not tell me the truth. And that was the only thing that was hard about it was because I was confused because it was one of those moments where my reality was shaken up.”

Jennifer added: “There’s a lot of rough stuff that happens in the book that happened in my life, along with amazing privilege, along with beautiful caring, loving parents, with incredible exposure to great artists and steeped in culture. Because it’s not one thing, it’s this beautiful gray. It’s not black and white. I love my name. Grey. I love my name because it is not black or white. I can’t believe like unconsciously what my dad chose that word, that name. [He was born Joel Katz.] But because of what it means, there are so many shades between black and white. There’s so much complexity in human beings. Right?”

Earlier this week, Jennifer revealed how she feels how her nose job 30 years later.