Michelle Rodriguez Went 'Pretty Crazy' After Paul Walker Died

Michelle Rodriguez is opening up about how her Furious 7 co-star Paul Walker‘s death affected her life.

“I actually went on a bit of a binge,” the 36-year-old actress tearfully told EW. “I went crazy a little bit… I went pretty crazy. A lot of the stuff I did last year I would never do had I been in my right mind.”

Michelle credits some of that “stuff” as her romances with Cara Delevingne and Zac Efron, as well as her party days with Justin Bieber.

“I was pushing myself to feel,” Michelle said. “I felt like nothing I could do could make me feel alive, so I just kept pushing myself harder and harder. I was traveling and I was having sex. And I was just trying to ignore everything that I was feeling.”

Click inside to read what else Michelle Rodriguez had to say…

“I could see Paul once every two years and just know there was another human on the planet who’s deep like me, who loves like that,” she added. “When that disappears, you wonder, ‘Wait a minute, what do I hold on to?’ There was nothing to tether me to this existence: ‘Why am I f�”ing here? And, like, why’d you leave without me?’”

“I just woke up [one morning] with a profound respect for living,” she continued. “I stood tall one day and I said, ‘You know what, Michelle? Stop f�”ing hiding. Go manifest.’ And all of a sudden, I picked myself up and started hustling.”