Gwen Stefani Explains Why She Felt 'Guilty & Selfish' During Early Days of Motherhood

Gwen Stefani is opening up like never before.

In a new interview, the 54-year-old “Hollaback Girl” singer opened up about the struggles she faced while trying to balance the early days of motherhood and her career.

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“I find out I’m pregnant with [eldest son] Kingston,” Gwen said on an upcoming episode of The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast. “And I was in rehearsals, and I was like so sick. It’s the first time I had to work with this band, first time I ever had dancers, first time I ever did costume changes, first time being pregnant, and I think I like cried like every night.”

After giving birth to Kingston, now 17, Gwen headed back into the studio to record The Sweet Escape, which she recalled, “felt so right to keep going with creatively It was just so real and right.”

However, two years later Gwen had a much more difficult experience returning to the studio to record new music with No Doubt after she and now-ex husband Gavin Rossdale welcomed second son Zuma, now 15.

“I had Zuma and we just kept going in the studio and we ended up writing this record called Push and Shove,” Gwen said. “And to leave the kids to go do that, I would feel so guilty and selfish. I would go there and like knock my head against the wall and no song would come. And yet, I’m not with my kid, and I’m not good enough to write a freaking song.”

Then over the next few years, Gwen said she experienced a series of miracles, which began with the birth of her and the 58-year-old Bush singer’s third son Apollo, now 9, when she was in her 40s. (Gwen and Gavin divorced in 2016 after 14 years of marriage.)

“I basically had Kingston and he was like, “Mommy, when are you gonna have a baby?” Gwen remembered, but despite her telling her son she was too old, she continued, “He would start praying every night for this baby and four weeks later, praying every night, like, ‘Please let my mom have a baby, and I’m pregnant with Apollo. And I’m 43 years old and it’s like this true miracle.”

Then shortly after giving birth to Apollo, Gwen experienced her second miracle: she got a call to do The Voice which is where she met future husband Blake Shelton.

“So that was the second miracle,” Gwen said. “Like, the first miracle was getting pregnant. The second was The Voice. And then the third was, obviously, meeting Blake.”

In another recent interview, Gwen talked about reuniting with No Doubt for Coachella 2024 and addressed the future of the band.