Selma Blair Says Her Decades-Long Alcohol Addiction Began at Age 7: 'I Don’t Know If I Would’ve Survived Childhood Without Alcoholism'

Selma Blair is opening up about her battle with alcoholism.

The actress spoke with People about her new memoir Mean Baby, which recounts her decades-long alcohol addiction as well as traumatic events that happened in her childhood and adolescence.

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“I don’t know if I would’ve survived childhood without alcoholism,” she told the outlet. “That’s why it’s such a problem for a lot of people. It really is a huge comfort, a huge relief in the beginning. Maybe even the first few years for me because I did start really young with that as a comfort, as my coping mechanism.”

Selma writes in her book, “The first time I got drunk it was a revelation. I always liked Passover. As I took small sips of the Manischewitz I was allowed throughout the seder a light flooded through me, filling me up with the warmth of God. But the year I was seven, when we basically had Manischewitz on tap and no one was paying attention to my consumption level, I put it together: the feeling was not God but fermentation. I thought ‘Well this is a huge disappointment, but since it turns out I can get the warmth of the Lord from a bottle, thank God there’s one right here.’ I got drunk that night. Very drunk. Eventually, I was put in my sister Katie‘s bed with her. In the morning, I didn’t remember how I’d gotten there.”

She explained that she didn’t necessarily get drunk and just took “quick sips whenever my anxiety would alight. I usually barely even got tipsy. I became an expert alcoholic, adept at hiding my secret.”

Her alcoholism continued into her teens and 20s. In her book, the actress described a traumatizing incident in which she was raped after a day of drinking.

“I don’t know if both of them raped me. One of them definitely did,” she writes. “I made myself small and quiet and waited for it to be over. I wish I could say what happened to me that night was an anomaly, but it wasn’t. I have been raped, multiple times, because I was too drunk to say the words ‘Please. Stop.’ Only that one time was violent. I came out of each event quiet and ashamed.”

Selma shared in her interview that besides speaking with her therapist about the assault, she’d never discussed it with anyone.

“Writing that stopped me dead in my tracks,” she said. “My sense of trauma was bigger than I knew. I did not realize that assault was so central in my life. I had so much shame and blame. I’m grateful I felt safe enough to put it on the page. And then can work on it with a therapist and with other writing, and really relieve that burden of shame on myself.”

Having been sober since 2016, the Cruel Intentions star is hopeful that being candid about her journey will help others facing similar situations.

“It’s a lot,” she said. “I wrote the book for my son… and for people trying to find the deepest hole to crawl into until the pain passes.”

“I’m in a good place,” she added. “I cannot believe all this happened in my life, and I’m still here and I’m okay.”

Mean Baby will be available for purchase on May 17.

A few months ago, it was revealed that Selma got a restraining order against her ex after he allegedly attacked her.