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Ethan Hawke: Relationships Can't Hang on Sexual Fidelity

Ethan Hawke: Relationships Can't Hang on Sexual Fidelity

Ethan Hawke is broodingly handsome for this fashion feature from one of Mr. Porter‘s November 2013 issues.

Here is what the 43-year-old actor had to share with the mag:

On his relationship with his wife Ryan: “My relationship with my present wife is thrilling to me and I’m committed to it. But neither she nor I know what shape the future will come in. Sexual fidelity can’t be the whole thing you hang your relationship on. If you really love somebody you want them to grow, but you don’t get to define how that happens. They do.”

On his divorce from Uma Thurman: “We tried to be as optimistic as we could be: we all want to believe in love and the possibility of love. The older you get, the more you realise how powerful love is. You understand the right ways for emotion to lead your life and the dangerous ways. I don’t regret marrying early. Gattaca was a great moment in my life and a great moment in Uma Thurman’s life and we fell madly in love and wanted to do all that.”

On the general view of monogamy: “People have such a childish view of monogamy and fidelity. ‘He’s cheated so he’s bad, she’s cheated so she’s bad’, as opposed to a recognition that our species is not monogamous. To act all indignant, that your world has been rocked because your lover wasn’t faithful to you, is a little bit like acting rocked that your hair went grey. I am [monogamous], but in Before Midnight there is the threat of sexual attraction to others and maintaining your sexual identity with your partner over a long period of time. Human beings are sexual beings.”

For more from Ethan, visit MrPorter.com!

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50 Comments

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# 1

He seems like a a-hole making excuses for him cheating in his relationships and using his own pseudo philosophy to make it seem like it’s ok

# 2

@Guest:

lmao i agree with this.

# 3

He’s right! Amen Ethan

# 4

I am female and agree with him as well…

# 6

wow, he looks rough. Sorry Ethan, if anyone cheats it will probably be your younger wife.

# 7

He is an idiot. If you can’t be faithful then don’t get married, don’t be in a committed relationship. Unless you have an open relationship, cheating will never be ok.

# 8

I hope his wifey cheats on him. It’s only natural, right, Ethan?

# 9

He comes across like such a douche. All that ‘philosophical’ double talk is crap. What he’s really saying is that he’s monogamous right now (maybe) but if he feels like cheating in future he’ll do it under the guise of ‘growing’.
Uma Thurman is so much better off without this @ss hat.

What a big fat load of BULL. Damn. How idiotic of a reasoning. I guess men will be men? Ugh. If you’re a woman and you agree with him, you’re not a simple woman, you’re a hoe. Sorry, honey. Don’t get married in the first place if you’re not going to be committed to that one person and stay faithful to her/him. It’s unfair to go cheat on someone who loves you. Me personally, I haven’t been cheated on but if it ever happens, I won’t accept it. And I’ll leave the cheater because I DON’T SHARE =) …. If I’m in an “open relationship”, yeah maybe? But if I consider it serious. It stays serious!

siennagold @ 11/29/2013 at 3:57 am

Sounds like a jerk and a moron. I wouldn’t be surprised if his relationship with his present wife will end in divorce in the future.

@Guest and @Diedre – Couldn’t have said it better.

‘My present wife’

This phrasing should have her on her toes! He’s way past the 7-year itch…

Not sure I agree with him … It’s weird ways to associate his wife with his thougts about cheating !
http://www.laparentheseenchantee.fr/

You can call him names but that won’t change the fact that the man is 100% right.

He is being candid and a lot of people (men and women) like myself happen to agree with him. He has an emotionally mature view on relationships, devotion and individual indentity or I think so anyway. The reason he is speaking about this is because it was asked of him as it relates to the ‘Before’ films, he didn’t just start talking about it. lol.
And both him and Uma were seeing other people. And she was known to do drugs with other men, so it wasn’t totally him although he took all of the grief of course.

living in a box @ 11/29/2013 at 5:31 am

so let me get this straight, cheating is okay as long you still love your spouse/partner. thank god, this guy career is over. nowdays, he only make stupid horror movie.

He’s entitled to his opinion and for some people that works but as a man and a gay one I can tell you in all honesty being monogamous for me is like second nature. It’s an easy process if I love the one I am with and it’s a desire that lingers regardless of how I grow. I am lead by emotion and not my loins so in regards to the human species as a whole not being monogamous I call, bollocks! He’s probably already slipped with his current wife and that’s how he justifies it and that’s just his weakness to sex. It doesn’t apply to me. I enjoy being with just one guy emotionally and physically

o boy, what a douche…

o boy, what a douche…

LOL people come with every type of excuse to make it right to be a selfish, cheating a$$hole. Its so funny that he tries to romanticizise cheating “If you really love somebody you want them to grow”. He tries to find all this excuses and all this reasons why its ok that he cheated, so he can keep being this good-romantic-guy persona, when in reallity he is just one of many selfish, cheating a$$holes. You are nothing special Ethan, just because you thing you have special reasons to cheat. In the end you are just a selfish, cheating a$$hole, like all the others.

@Wurry: Its so laughable, how your Ethan fans like to trash Uma, to make Ethan look better. But you will not change the truth. It just makes you as cheap as Ethan.

@Adam: hear hear..good for you Adam…we are all entitled to our opinion:)

Being that Ethan “cheated” to get with his current partner, the former babysitter..I am sure the lady is well aware of his perceptions and is okay with it.

As long as the people within the cirle of sharing fluid understand and accept actions and resulting consequences ….hmm then enjoy

I am thankful that ethan said it out loud, I certainly will not seek a relationship with him knowing his opinions upfront.

Be more hateful towards those who do not disclose thier opions and lie thier way into a relationship only to admit they cant follow the monogamy route.

There is no excuse for cheating. If you are unhappy with he partner, break off from the relationship but do not cheat and lie and deceive your partner. Cheating is a choice made by cowards and deceitful people.

His wife better start heading for the hills. Looks like he’s going to break her heart.

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