Top Stories

Martha Stewart Killed It at Justin Bieber's Roast, Jokes About Prison & Pot (Video)

Martha Stewart Killed It at Justin Bieber's Roast, Jokes About Prison & Pot (Video)

Martha Stewart killed it during last night’s airing of the Justin Bieber roast on Comedy Central and no one can stop talking about her amazingly dry and dirty jokes.

“I’ve been in lock up. Justin, you would not last a week. So pay attention,” the 73-year-old lifestyle personality said. “The first think you’ll need is a shank. I made mine from a comb and a pack of gum. I’ll show you how later. It’s so simple. I found Bubblicious works best and it’s so much fun to say. You see, when I did my stretch, all the hood rats on my cell block wanted to break off a piece of Martha Stewart’s ass. I decided some b—- needed to be got. I walked into the chow hall, picked out the biggest bull d*ke and I stuck her. From then on, prison was easier than making blueberry scones.”

“Settle down, bring some balance into your life. Find yourself the right gal. She’ll have to be very special. She’ll have to be someone on your level, powerful and famous and rich. Someone you can smoke a joint with or indulge in the occasional three way. I’m talking about a player in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom. So Justin, call me,” Martha concluded.

Watch some clips below…


Martha Stewart – Justin Bieber’s Roast Part 1

Click inside for another clip of Martha Stewart at the roast…


Martha Stewart – Justin Bieber’s Roast Part 2

Just Jared on Facebook
martha stewart killed it at justin biebers roast 01
martha stewart killed it at justin biebers roast 02
martha stewart killed it at justin biebers roast 03
martha stewart killed it at justin biebers roast 04
martha stewart killed it at justin biebers roast 05
martha stewart killed it at justin biebers roast 06
martha stewart killed it at justin biebers roast 07
martha stewart killed it at justin biebers roast 08
martha stewart killed it at justin biebers roast 09
martha stewart killed it at justin biebers roast 10

Photos: Getty
Posted to: Justin Bieber, Martha Stewart, Video

JJ Links Around The Web

Getty
  • Justin Bieber ditches his shirt at the gym - TMZ
  • Elton John is NOT retiring - Gossip Cop
  • Yara Shahidi started a fun new project - Just Jared Jr
  • Selena Gomez wears pajamas and heels while shopping- Radar
  • Milo Ventimiglia opens up about working with Will Smith - Lainey Gossip
  • Moana hits big at the box offices for the second weekend - The Hollywood Reporter
  • xxx.AIDS.xxx

    He’s looking more and more like Ellen

  • Hellen

    I watched this roast . A bunch of nobodies (except Justin Biber), behaving like old farts. I did not get it , why Selena was mentioned with a cruel joke about her being Mexican. That is a racist comment. Again, blacks jerks making fun of Mexicans, then, they cry like babies when Mexicans make fun of them. Selena was not present and there was no reason to mention her name , “Selena Gomez had sex with [you] … proving Mexicans will do thedisgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.” That is a disgusting comment done by a bunch of racists blacks and whites idiots.

  • Selena

    Shut the fuck up its a comedy show, with no holds barred meaning anything goes. Go cry about it somewhere else . A jokes a joke white people joke about any race and so do Mexicans get over it. I mean I think your really just mad that not one Mexican was present on that stage.

  • ALIYANA JERY

    Try making your income from your living room and get a weekly check… By doing simple freelance work on your PC… I work three hours a day, for five da­ys in week and I
    earn 1000 bucks each we­ek…

    ►►►►►►►►►► ­ –>-><-<–

    ♥♡♥♥♡♥♥♡♥♥♡♥♥♡♥♥♡♥♥♥♡♥♥♡♥♥♡♥♥♡♥♥♡♥♥♡♥♥

A Member of Townsquare Entertainment News | Advertise here