'RuPaul's Drag Race' Star Willow Pill Opens Up About Trans Identity & Chronic Illness

Willow Pill is opening up.

The 27-year-old RuPaul’s Drag Race star, who is currently on Season 14 of the hit series, got candid in an Instagram post about their gender identity, as well as their continued battle with the chronic illness cystinosis, as they’ve discussed on the show.

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“I want to address some of the things I said in Untucked last week when I talked about my gender identity,” Willow said, referring to the Drag Race behind-the-scenes series.

“It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with my transness because so much space has been taken up by my illness. My condition has caused me so much physical and emotional pain that my body became something I always wanted out of. Eventually, hating my body for failing me and hating myself for not being a girl was so constant and intertwined that it felt totally normal. I know it’s not my fault, just the way I’ve learned to survive,” they continued.

“During quarantine I started to explore my feelings about my illness and unpacked a lot of medical PTSD and self-hatred. But only in the last year have I really started to realize that I’m not happy with my gender identity either. Much of that is due to being on drag race and feeling euphoria being Willow for the first time since quarantine and being around a bunch of queer and trans friends on set. I’m still not sure where I fit on the spectrum, for now I just say trans femme, but I also don’t have to know now,” they said.

Willow also opened up about surgery.

“Last November, I had surgery to make my face a bit more feminine (why I’ve been looking so c**t) and to reduce some of the effects that long-term medication use has done to my face. Transitioning with a chronic illness is not simple. Any further medicalization of my body scares me because of my medical PTSD. I’m currently discussing a very low dose of hormones with my doctor and will have to take things very slow because I’m on a variety of intense medications. It may be that it’s not for me because my health comes first but I want to try. I want to cry more, have softer skin and a fatter a–. Happiness would also be nice,” she said.

I want to share this because I have felt so lonely keeping this to myself. I’ve rarely been able to talk to other people with similar stories, though I know there are many out there. I’m so tired of holding my pain in, and if I’m sharing dark bath bomb jokes and my a– cheeks to the TV world, then I also want to share this. For now, I go by Willow in and out of drag with they/she pronouns, though I know this experience isn’t linear. I’m starting to finally feel bits of happiness with my face and body, and that’s a start. I love y’all so much!”

Willow is also not the only star on her season to open up about their trans identity.

Check out Willow‘s post…